There are conversations by Roger Stone & Steve Bannon where they are saying the plan was to refuse concession & lie that trump won whether he did or not. They all knew what was going to happen regarding the legal transfer of power & laughed about it. Mike Flynn advised trump to declare martial law, remove voting machines, & squash any protestors.
Don't you wonder if Mikey and his son are signed up to that same "Look, Ma, no hands!"Xtian site that facilitates two guys policing each other's tendency to beat off that the new Speaker and his son have let us know they rely on? Imagine a President Pence announcing a new agency within the D.O.J.. the Federal Bureau of Investigating Choking the Chicken.
In my young adolescent days the agency would have had the authority to arrest any boy who took the Sears or Montgomery Ward catalog into the bathroom. "Nobody expects the Federal Choking the Chicken Inquisition!"
"This is the stupidest goddamned fucking Hallmark Christmas movie ever." Sure is, even if its set in America's smallest colony, Washington DC, in the winter. To make it better, Pence needed a close personal best friend/confidant/advisor who is Black or some other obvious minority person.
"Well, carve a picture of Pence on Mount Rushmore and make sure to include his hands in the rock sculpture so we know he’s not masturbating." This is why I will never quit you, Wonkette.
The most surprising thing here is that Pence has a son in the military. I thought all good politicians talked them out of serving our country. Oh well. I guess “bonespurs” excuse was taken.
Bonespurs told Bonespurs, Jr. he'd disinherit him if he joined the service.
Joke's on Jr. If he'd joined, he'd have valuable skills now that would make him a success in life. As it is, all he's going to get is holding the bag when everything comes crashing down.
I was watching older episodes of QI, and Giles Brandreth popped up with a line that reminded me of the importance of the comma. “Let's eat, grandma” as opposed to “let’s eat grandma.”
And then another guest quipped that with Giles, it’s not so much a family tree as “a family fucking forest!”
I was listening to the Well Red podcast on my way into work this morning (https://www.traecrowder.com/podcast/episode/55f58d9d/366-freedom-of-speech-and-claw-machine-spiders) and they got on a digression about how sometimes, even somebody you just HATE will come out with something and you have to admit, well, they're kinda right about that point there. This is how I feel about Pence's testimony. Good on him for being actually Christian enough not to tell a lie, but otherwise fuck that guy.
There are conversations by Roger Stone & Steve Bannon where they are saying the plan was to refuse concession & lie that trump won whether he did or not. They all knew what was going to happen regarding the legal transfer of power & laughed about it. Mike Flynn advised trump to declare martial law, remove voting machines, & squash any protestors.
"This is the stupidest goddamned fucking Hallmark Christmas movie ever." --Evan
No one says it better. This sums up the whole Pence testimony perfectly. So glad he has NO chance of becoming POTUS.
Pretty sure Pence was not really in the 'loop.'
I wonder who’s Pence’s porn accountability buddy. Is it his son like Mike Johnson’s?
Don't you wonder if Mikey and his son are signed up to that same "Look, Ma, no hands!"Xtian site that facilitates two guys policing each other's tendency to beat off that the new Speaker and his son have let us know they rely on? Imagine a President Pence announcing a new agency within the D.O.J.. the Federal Bureau of Investigating Choking the Chicken.
In my young adolescent days the agency would have had the authority to arrest any boy who took the Sears or Montgomery Ward catalog into the bathroom. "Nobody expects the Federal Choking the Chicken Inquisition!"
~~it’s a “fishing expedition” that’s not being done in “good faith.” (Imagine that.)~~
I find it hard to imagine Team Trump doing anything that *IS* in good faith. Ever.
"This is the stupidest goddamned fucking Hallmark Christmas movie ever." Sure is, even if its set in America's smallest colony, Washington DC, in the winter. To make it better, Pence needed a close personal best friend/confidant/advisor who is Black or some other obvious minority person.
Pence's wife--"Mother"--is Black? Well, knock me over with a feather.
Didn't you hear the man? This is a Hallmark Christmas movie. There are no black people.
Ah, the Magic Negro trope. I never watch Hallmark, but that figures,
I always wonder...where is the fly now? I miss the fly.
The life span of a fly is surprisingly shorter than Mike Pence's presidential campaign.
"Well, carve a picture of Pence on Mount Rushmore and make sure to include his hands in the rock sculpture so we know he’s not masturbating." This is why I will never quit you, Wonkette.
I like the idea of Trump cross-examining himself, since it reminds me of that scene in Woody Allen's Bananas.
I’d like to see him recreate the scene in “Liar, Liar” where Jim Carry beats himself up.
Bananas 2: FUCKING BANANAS!!!!!
You know, Trump is a douche bag.
You know Trump is a douche bag.
Different, yes, but only slightly. Either one works.
Um, akshually...
These statements are very different.
The first expresses the speaker's opinion. ("I think Trump is a douche bag, and I am telling you this.")
The second one asserts the opinion of the person spoken to. ("You think that Trump is a douchebag, and I am aware of this.")
Is this the "my friend" who chortled gleefully while his crazed cultists screamed for your lynching, Mikey?
I've known week-old roadkill that had more spine than Pence.
C'mon. who doesn't have a "friend" who's sicced a mob with murderous intent on them? Used to happen to me all the time when I drank whiskey!
We call that "vittles".
I would have thought the fly would have whispered in Pence's ear that Donnie Dipshit "isn't your friend. Not ever."
"He's not that into you"...
The most surprising thing here is that Pence has a son in the military. I thought all good politicians talked them out of serving our country. Oh well. I guess “bonespurs” excuse was taken.
Bonespurs told Bonespurs, Jr. he'd disinherit him if he joined the service.
Joke's on Jr. If he'd joined, he'd have valuable skills now that would make him a success in life. As it is, all he's going to get is holding the bag when everything comes crashing down.
Ah, the Oxford comma. From the britcom My Hero:
"I wonder if you could help me, mate."
"Help you mate? Well, I don't know . . ."
As a writer who is more or less trapped in AP, the Oxford is an evil plot to make everything unreadable.
You know, I embrace the Oxford comma with all my being, energy, and might.
Might what?
Might stab my eyeballs out with a rusty ice pick?
https://helveticka.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/oxfordcomma1.jpg
I dedicate this book to my parents, Ayn Rand and Jesus Christ
Point made. Eats. Shoots. And leaves...
I was watching older episodes of QI, and Giles Brandreth popped up with a line that reminded me of the importance of the comma. “Let's eat, grandma” as opposed to “let’s eat grandma.”
And then another guest quipped that with Giles, it’s not so much a family tree as “a family fucking forest!”
I LOVE that episode! It's such perfect delivery too. QI in general is my favorite.
See also: the episode with the following exchange:
Sandi: How do I know when you are ready for sex?
Susan Calman: When I’m finished at the buffet!
(And the entire segment regarding a very…interesting photo from that episode.)
I was listening to the Well Red podcast on my way into work this morning (https://www.traecrowder.com/podcast/episode/55f58d9d/366-freedom-of-speech-and-claw-machine-spiders) and they got on a digression about how sometimes, even somebody you just HATE will come out with something and you have to admit, well, they're kinda right about that point there. This is how I feel about Pence's testimony. Good on him for being actually Christian enough not to tell a lie, but otherwise fuck that guy.
He's grounded safe and sound, trailing clouds of glory, he's down! And he's marching! To dinner.
"Cause God almighty, I'm hungry!"
You're hungry! I'm hungry!
We're ALL hungry so
LET'S EAT!!!
And he said the Word
And they ate it...
And what WAS the Word?
More Sugar!!!
Shoes for industry!
Shoes for the dead!