527 Comments
User's avatar
Doktor Zoom's avatar

Moderator Note: Despite the headline, please remember we have a comments policy and that while it's fair play to joke about Nazi Cosplay Barbie being generally despicable, please focus on mocking the horrible shit she's done and said, not to post a lot of gross misogynist crap.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, ya filthy fuckaducks!

Review the Comments Rules if you need a refresher!

https://www.wonkette.com/p/rules-for-commenting-radicals

Expand full comment
Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

My namesake!

Expand full comment
Rachael's avatar

I believe that simply referring to her as "Kristi Noem" is the best insult of all.

Expand full comment
Pere Ubu's avatar

Oh, you mean Ilsa, Puppy Killer of the SS.

Expand full comment
Marla's avatar

Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS.

A real person, BTW.

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Dianne Thorne libelz!!1!!!!!11!!!!! She's Kristi the Klown.

Expand full comment
Sister Artemis's avatar

I confess, I had to check the headline because I can never remember if Nazi Barbie refers to Nowm or the press secretary lady

Expand full comment
Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

Karpoline is "Chunky Ivanka".

Expand full comment
Androgenous AF's avatar

Or pre-facial surgery, (nose jobs etc) Ivanka...

Expand full comment
DJ Teetop's avatar

Karoline is more like Pyongyang Stacy

Expand full comment
Marla's avatar

I think of her as Klaus Barbie.

Expand full comment
Let me sum up's avatar

The A.G.'s right in that mix too.

Expand full comment
Mara Seaforest's avatar

They're all alike, just different outfits.

Expand full comment
Let me sum up's avatar

Different fillers, botix etc

Expand full comment
Trux Mint In Box's avatar

I’d like a couple of extensions before stopping.

Get it. Extensions?? Right? Ok, I’ll go ban myself now.

Expand full comment
Bear: PROTECT THE AMERICUB's avatar

She's Kristi Noem!!!

Oh shit, I think I may have crossed the line. I mean, that is the worst thing a person can say about ANYONE.

Expand full comment
ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

And she's done so much horrible shit that no one should ever run out of things to say about her.

Expand full comment
tehbaddr's avatar

Is it wrong for me to call her "a looker"!? Because I wanna Groper might be a bit too sexy!

Expand full comment
Bitter Scribe's avatar

Yes it is.

Expand full comment
helenasgarden's avatar

The MAGAt women look deformed to me. Must be a Nazi thing.

Expand full comment
Gammarae's avatar

i think it's the hair extensions.

Expand full comment
Cthulhu's avatar

Their human suits never fit properly. Probably because of the lizzad peeple bodies underneath.

Expand full comment
EyeQueue's avatar

They do it to themselves. It's not like that is how they naturally look. Mar-a-Lago face is a thing and it's fucking gross.

Expand full comment
HI2thDoc's avatar

Too much vanity + too much money = too much surgery/botox/enhancements

Expand full comment
Tessie's avatar

Conservative women must be in constant pain.

Between the plastic surgery, lip fillers, starvation diets, hair bleach, Spanx, stiletto heels, and Brazil waxes, they must be on fire every waking minute.

Probably has a lot to do with why they're all such hateful bitches.

Expand full comment
CzechJournalists's avatar

seen some bad ai vids that gave her hair extensions hair extensions. . .

Expand full comment
helenasgarden's avatar

I'm aware. If it were natural I wouldn't say a word.

I call it the next step in female mutilation.

Expand full comment
Mommadillo's avatar

Is “Pam Blondi” okay? I mean, it was just laying there, practically begging to be used. I couldn’t resist.

Expand full comment
Sister Artemis's avatar

It does sorta cast a bad light in Blondie

Expand full comment
Bitter Scribe's avatar

Which Blondie?

Actually, doesn't matter. The erstwhile music group can take care of itself, while the comic strip is hopeless.

Expand full comment
Pere Ubu's avatar

Hitler's dog was named Blondi. (Fucker included doggo in his suicide pact, as if doggo ever did anything wrong)

Expand full comment
ArgieBargie's avatar

Is it appropriate to point out she looks like a third-rate Venezuelan telenovela villain?Maria Esmeralda De Los Santos Fernández.

¡Ay dios mío!

Expand full comment
3FingerPete's avatar

Who will she choose, Bryon or Corey? We'll just have to stay tuned!

Expand full comment
VwllssWndr's avatar

Telenovela actresses are better actors.

Expand full comment
Laurian's avatar

No, it's not. Don't be so fcking shallow.

Expand full comment
Stuart's avatar

I think she looks like Michael Jackson.

Expand full comment
Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

I will never understand the plastic surgery people. "I don't want to look human anymore!"

Expand full comment
thephantomcheese's avatar

"If I resemble Melania, tRump may want to grab MY p****!"

Expand full comment
CzechJournalists's avatar

i was impressed by one picture of the new mrs bezos where she managed to look like a lamp

Expand full comment
EyeQueue's avatar

She did it to herself and I don't think it's misogynistic to point that out.

Expand full comment
Goin Green's avatar

Yes.

Expand full comment
tehbaddr's avatar

It's Teh Crazy Hotness!

Expand full comment
Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

This Keystone Gestapo actually gets paid a living wage? SMFH

Expand full comment
Ryan's avatar

Thanks, Gary. Excellent piece as always. Fifty bonus points for REMF.

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. I had a serving of excellent cannellini bean soup with a slice of toasted sourdough. I spoke with my beloved husband; neither of us likes being apart, but within a year, we'll be retired so we can spend as much time together as we want.

I cannot comment on the clusterfuck in MacArthur Park without inviting the banhammer, so I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

Expand full comment
Tessie's avatar

"Rope insertion" is a limp dick joke, right?

Expand full comment
Jessica's avatar

Don't Google "sounding".

I warned you

Expand full comment
Tessie's avatar

There are LOTS of things I don't Google any more.

Expand full comment
Tessie's avatar

This was in reference to Laura Loomer, not Kristi Noem, but it is impossible to top the Reddit comment that referred to her as "copy paste Botox devil".

Also works for No nose, Blonde Joke, and probably others I have forgotten or blocked out.

Expand full comment
Littorally Speaking's avatar

𝘑𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘦𝘯 𝘒𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘪𝘯 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯’𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦 ...

Which indicates that there’s at least *some* “internal military” personnel that aren’t okay with this Shitler/Miller (Shiller? Mhitler?) fascist stuff.

Expand full comment
Sarah Smith's avatar

The woman in the white dress filming is my personal hero.

Expand full comment
GrannysKnitting's avatar

seriously low T energy there

Expand full comment
mvario's avatar

Masked, Armed and Forceful: Finding Patterns in Los Angeles Immigration Raids - bellingcat

https://www.bellingcat.com/news/2025/07/08/masked-armed-and-forceful-finding-patterns-in-los-angeles-immigration-raids/

Expand full comment
Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

So, did they at least arrest the person who left the cake out in the rain?

Otherwise, this may be the biggest waste of money ever in the age of DOGE.

Expand full comment
Ryan Good's avatar

They better have, because I'll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaaain, oooh nooooooo...

Expand full comment
Brian McCurdy's avatar

This is such a mind-fuck because it must be terrifying for kids and people who have reason to fear ICE to face armed masked men in the park, but those men are simultaneously ridiculous and incompetent. The mayor ran over there and chased them out and people threw fruit at them. I guess the lesson is those of us with no reason to fear ICE (I mean, for now; I know these things escalate) should, if we're able, get in their face and do what we can to run them off. This is state-sponsored terrorism and those of us who can stand up for the people being terrorized should do what we can.

Expand full comment
DJ Teetop's avatar

It was all a misunderstanding: Hegseth heard there was a keg there getting rained on

Expand full comment
Andrew L. Erdman's avatar

"Echo One, Echo Actual, we have multiple unfriendlies lined up on Wilshire Boulevard calling us names and being really mean." Bingo. All of LA needs to come out and taunt these muttherfuggers a second time!

Expand full comment
John Gillick's avatar

OPERATION EXCALIBUR

He Who Pulls This Sword From Out Trump's Ass

Shall Hereinafter Be Known As

The True-Born And Rightful

KING SHIT

Of All The Park

Expand full comment
BillEGoatSmile's avatar

That idiotic little foray across the field was like something out of a Monty Python skit.

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

Except for the people who were terrorized by it

Expand full comment