Miss United States Vs. This D*ck! Tabs, Thurs., Aug. 7, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

What are we reading this morning? It’s some tabs! And if you haven’t already, you should

Donald Trump is claiming he’s paying for something? Like with money? Unless it’s “the silence of someone he fucked around on his wife with,” the answer is are you fucking kidding us with this? (Jeff Tiedrich)

FEMA employees reassigned to ICE “to assist with hiring and vetting” the hoped-for 10,000 new ICE goonthugs. (The American Prospect)

But can Texas Gov. Greg Abbott send the FBI to arrest the Texas Dems, or remove them from office? Here’s some stuff about the law. Basically, eh? (Status Kuo)

Miss United States has filed a restraining order against Rep. Cory Mills for aggravated threats and terribleness, after she broke up with him (he’s married) after finding out about his other girlfriend. I think we found our next secretary of Defense — and he thinks so too! (Roger Sollenberger)

Bureau of Labor Statistics was working on improving business hiring response rates, but Howard Lutnick shut that panel down, the better to fire the chief economist for not having good enough business hiring response rates. (National Review) They’ve also stopped tracking jobs by race/ethnicity, so there’s no way to know how many (for instance) Black women lost their jobs in DOGE massacres (presumably “all of them”). (Marketplace)

Trump has all the best numbers anyway, everyone knows that! (The Bulwark)

I’ve never been a big tongue-bather of the Greatest Generation, with the racism and the alcoholism and the domestic violence, but. It does seem to be true that we forgot “Nazis are bad” specifically when they all died off. (Doomsday Scenario)

You want racism and violence, you can’t get much better than this Confederate dude, Gen. Albert Pike, who wrote in 1868, “the white race, and that race alone, shall govern this country. It is the only one that is fit to govern, and it is the only one that shall” — and whose statue is currently being lovingly burnished and restored, so it can be re-placed in our nation’s capital. (The Nation / Paul Waldman)

I don’t think that’s what “unprovoked” means. (Metro UK)

There is a lot going on here at Which Salt Are You. (I’m kosher!) (Which Salt Are You)

Sounds like the new “King of the Hill” is pretty darned good! (Charlotte Clymer)

This is v lol!

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WONKMEET in CLEVELAND with me, Shy, and Cleveland’s newest resident, Ziggy Wiggy! Aug. 16, 1 p.m. at the Boss Dog Brewing Company, 2179 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, OH 44118. I’m buying!

What time is it? It’s time to IMPEACH!

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