Missouri Cops Repeatedly Shoot Concrete Alligator, Fail To Kill It
Police inKeystoneIndependence, Missouri, knew just what to do when somebody called about seeing an alleged alligator not bothering anybody on some wooded property somewhere: They drove right over and tried to kill it, by shooting it repeatedly with their rifles. But, eventually, they figured out it was just a concrete lawn ornament. So then they shot a bunch of minority kids while hearing that music fromCOPSin their minds. No, kidding! Then they probably got promoted.
The television news in this town reports:
Police responding to an alligator sighting in a suburban Kansas City pond took quick action to dispatch the big reptile.
It wasn't until after the second rifle shot bounced off the beast Sunday that the three Independence officers realized it was a concrete lawn ornament.
Three cops, two rifle shots, one concrete alligator.
And one America.
Remember, if you see any suspected wildlife, immediately call the police so they can try to murder it. [ KMBC ]
Floridation is what really makes people dumb.
Sounds plausible, except for the "gathering intelligence" part. That would have been damn near impossible.