Police inKeystoneIndependence, Missouri, knew just what to do when somebody called about seeing an alleged alligator not bothering anybody on some wooded property somewhere: They drove right over and tried to kill it, by shooting it repeatedly with their rifles.
I actually went to elementary school in Buckner, Missouri, next to Independence, which as late as the 1960s had a decrepit, falling down sign that said: "Nigger, don't let the sun set on you in the town of Buckner."
I lived there for 18 years. Other than the site of the Second Coming for Mormons (because Independence is the most God forsaken place in America) it's got nothing but Trumanalia and Mormonalia.
Obviously they thought the alligator was bin Laden and they were Seal Team Six. They entered the "compound" with stealth and precision, fired two shote -- one to the chest, one to the eye. Back in the Situation Room, the President or Wolf Blitzer or someone watched the raid unfold in real time. They gathered intelligence and looked for porn. Then flew back, heros in their own minds.
Floridation is what really makes people dumb.
Sounds plausible, except for the "gathering intelligence" part. That would have been damn near impossible.
The cops may have gotten off more shots, but in the battle of wits the croc fought them to a draw.
They've not accustomed to patrolling gatored communities.
Meaning, they missed with the second shot. Guess it was too fast for 'em.
Q: How do you know the downfister is righthanded? A: Because he types with his left.
You forgot big busted.
Guy Noir visits Independence.
Because the concrete Negras is considered impolite.
Hey! Kansas City is nice!
Okay....parts of Kansas City are nice.
UPDATE: Fister Roboto hates parts of Kansas City!
I actually went to elementary school in Buckner, Missouri, next to Independence, which as late as the 1960s had a decrepit, falling down sign that said: "Nigger, don't let the sun set on you in the town of Buckner."
but urban areas are rioting.
I lived there for 18 years. Other than the site of the Second Coming for Mormons (because Independence is the most God forsaken place in America) it's got nothing but Trumanalia and Mormonalia.
Was that cement gator anywhere near the cement pond?
Obviously they thought the alligator was bin Laden and they were Seal Team Six. They entered the "compound" with stealth and precision, fired two shote -- one to the chest, one to the eye. Back in the Situation Room, the President or Wolf Blitzer or someone watched the raid unfold in real time. They gathered intelligence and looked for porn. Then flew back, heros in their own minds.
well, when cucumbers kill you can't be too careful about lawn ornaments.