Mitt Romney Acknowledges He Did Not ‘Speak Openly And Effectively To Minority Populations,’ Fails To Note Wetness Of Water

Average guy Mitt Romney and his wife Egg went on the CBS This Morning teevee Showcase of Disgrace to talk about why he lost so badly in the last “America’s Next Top Figurehead” contest. Oddly, he said a thing that is arguably true: "The place that my campaign and I fell short was probably in being able to speak openly and effectively to minority populations. We didn't get as many African-American voters as we should have, didn't get as many Hispanic voters as we should have."

We’re not so sure about the "openly" part, because when he did speak "openly" it was kind of disastrous for him. But effectively, sure. Romney was certainly not as effective at lying to minorities as he was with the white men, who unaccountably seemed to believe that Mitt Romney was the guy who would help them become or remain rich and powerful. Then again, people believe gay marriage is caused by supernatural hell-beasts , so maybe it's not that weird after all.

Of course, most people who are not Mitt Romney figured out pretty quickly that he lost mainly because he attracted significantly less support from black and Hispanic voters than the celebrated George W. Bush ever did. This was because he was very bad at hiding his disdain for less wealthy demographics generally, and specifically he said he wanted to make life so miserable for undocumented immigrants that they would “self-deport,” oh and also his party was working feverishly to enact restrictive voter ID laws that reminded many black voters of a time not too long ago when certain groups tried to prevent them from voting by, for example, murdering them.

This is all well-documented common knowledge among the non-deluded politically engaged, but it’s still noteworthy that the guy who refused to believe his bad poll numbers is finally capable of (sort of) confronting (some of) the real reasons he lost. Sure, he didn't say "Enough people realized that my party's core free market principles lead to widespread poverty, immiseration, environmental destruction, and economic catastrophe," but it's something.

Oh, we also laughed when we read this: "Across the board, we need to do a better job explaining why it is that our policies will lead to higher wages, better health care, better schools.” Sure, then maybe Mitt can explain why sawing off your own head is a great way to remain alive!

[ Huffington Post / Yahoo! News / POLITICO / Atlantic ]