Mitt Romney Announces Republicans Suck, Especially That Trump Guy: A Liveblog

Mar 03, 2016

Mitt Can Fix It

Perennial presidential candidate Mitt Romney is giving a MAJOR SPEECH today at the University of Utah's Hinckley Institute of Politics Forum, about the 2016 Republican primary. Which would be a perfectly normal thing if Romney were a candidate in this election, instead of merely the twice-failed candidate of elections past. So ... what's the what? And why do we care? Well, because hot diggity dog-on-a-car-roof, but we still love laughing at old Mitt. But we are Wonkette, it is expected. As to the rest of Americans, why do they care? They are not Wonkette!

[contextly_sidebar id="8mmg4kPKpWJ77DIdtYf08SPhaoQyrxyS"]But Mitt has been making a lot of words , with his Tweethole and other orifices lately, about a certain leading candidate in the GOP race whose name is Donald J. Trump. He is making so many words, you'd almost think Mitt is having second thoughts about his second thoughts about this race. And if his Stern Mitt Words can't stop Republicans from rejecting the Trump they love in favor of some currently available Not Trump, well ... well ... well, maybe Mitt will just have to jump in and save the GOP from itself, before it's too late. Gosh, we hope so.

Let's go to the Mittens now and see if he will answer the call of his party, or if he just wants to take giant Mittcraps on it, like a common Wonkette.