Money. Baby. Rabbit. Camera. Wonkette.

Yeah you know what time it is.

HI THERE. WHATCHA DOIN. IT'S TIME FOR THE THING.

Last month, almost two percent of Wonkette's monthly donors, who are themselves about half a percent of our monthly readers, canceled their subscriptions. Oh my gosh, they are so allowed! They have been keeping us going since we ditched the bullshit ads six or a hundred years ago, who can remember! And they cannot do it all themselves. They get to take a break sometimes and step away from the news for some months when everything is enervating. (Or they get to stay and keep reading but not do all the paying for everything every time we ask! Because there are 99.5 other  percent of you.) 

But we don't get to take a break and step away from the news, because it is our job. Sometimes our job is TERRIBLE. Sometimes it's pretty great and we love it a lot! But again, it's our job and not yours so we do it and you don't have to. So if you are not already supporting Wonkette, and yet you read Wonkette, and I know you read Wonkette because you are reading this right now, and if you are not actively poor (seriously please don't give us your money if you are poor), please get out your credit card and pony the fuck up. 

We don't take ads. We don't have any VC funding. We are a half dozen people who do this full-time with a readership of half a million to a million people, depending on the month — Wonkette's monthly readership ranges from the population of Wyoming to that of Maine, but usually comes in right around North Dakota — to fund us. Wonkette is not a charity. Wonkette is a news source that keeps you informed and also is funny, it just so happens that our paywall is invisible and on the honor system and doesn't actually exist, because FUCK WALLS THEY ARE BULLSHIT AND THEY SUCK.

I am deleting here the rant about the person who was disappointed I didn't thank them more fervently when I went to help them cancel their donation, because it is inappropriate to bitch about it even anonymously, but do know I will go TO MY GRAVE still shirty about it, and the moral is: That person didn't get nothing for their donations all these years. That person got fucking Wonkette. 

Now GIVE US MONEY GODDAMMIT WE LOVE YOU. (If you aren't poor and if you're not already.)

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But we really do love you though.