409 Comments
User's avatar
Runfastandwin's avatar

The Turtle

carries a shell on his back

so shelter

he will never lack

Menotsure's avatar

Apparently this is how the term "sponging off of" came into being.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Turtle is all like “Go away, ya botherin me”.

Schmannity's avatar

Turtle snacking on a Coral's Jr.

Donald Laporte's avatar

Where are the mermaids?

goCatgo's avatar

One is still asleep.🧜🏾‍♀️

One is having a vanilla, mint, cream coffee.🧜🏾‍♀️

One is tracking delivery of seashells. 🧜🏾‍♀️

helenasgarden's avatar

I often wonder what these grand sea turtles are thinking. They're so chill. They seem to know the secret of life. Telepathy for all!

goCatgo's avatar

They wonder what their gran,gran,gran,gran,gran,gran,gran kids are doing.

helenasgarden's avatar

I also wonder if they get lonely.

Eureka's avatar

This is what I want AI to be used for. Analyze large sets of data of animal communication until we can finally have a translation app for humans and animals to communicate vocally. Anything short of this kind of transformative technology is *not* worth a data center.

Nacho Librul's avatar

Buttercup, our Fenchie, told me she agrees with this.

helenasgarden's avatar

I love this!!! ♥️ That would be so worthwhile! Brilliant! (Heh. Now I know what to argue going forward.)

Nancy Naive's avatar

The spousal unit’s BFF sent her a video of an Eastern Box Turtle eating a dead rabbit in her front yard. Aesop stopped short of that part.

goCatgo's avatar

That's why you always wanna get the Director's Cut.

Always Be Ithacating's avatar

Turtles may not be descended from dinosaurs, but they sure are Triassic.

The Wanderer's avatar

Wow. The Bugs Bunny cartoons featuring him and the turtle would have ended very differently.

The Wanderer's avatar

Help keep our oceans clean!

Nancy Naive's avatar

Let Republicans wash up on the beach.

helenasgarden's avatar

Then send out the box turtles!

The Wanderer's avatar

That's why I don't go to the beach and wear my Speedo. Activists keep trying to shove me back into the water.

Miss Grundy's avatar

Will the fish please let the turtle eat?? Thank you!

rawrtigerlily's avatar

As someone who often jokes that I have no upper lip, I can empathize with this turtle.

Linda1961 aka Pollyanna's avatar

When I saw that today's gif was a turtle, I wondered if Moscow Mitchie's office had finally told the truth about him. Keeping Massie or anyone else to be able to finish out MM's term seems to be helping Dems more than it helps repubs, but what do I know? I'm just a member of the Wonketariat.

Acchomplished's avatar

Mitch McConnell is Schrodinger's Turtle.

Martini Glambassador's avatar

I do have you covered on today's meme chat, in any event :)

Androgenous AF's avatar

Crossed my mind also...I lost my decoder ring, so I wasn't sure.

Thomas B.'s avatar

And they said it wouldn't last - pah!

I can't believe I've been A Wonket for this long now. Time flies when you're being snarky!

Happy Camper's avatar

I surely wish I could have joined you in MIssoula; the trip on the Clark Fork looks like it was divine! I'd already committed to a trip to Sidney/Scobey/Forsyth to do some work at their airports. Trip got cancelled last minute because of extreme heat, because we agreed dying of heat stroke while our shoes melted into the tarmac wasn't a good thing. Did get to try out some amazing charcuterie boards and wine, though.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I got me a mumps vaccine today. I asked the doc about it a few years ago, because I'd never had the mumps, and I never got the vaccine because it came out when I was in college, and they were only giving it to little kids, and he didn't think it was necessary.

These days, my doc says, "You know, maybe you should get vaccinated."

beb's avatar

Here's news sure to warm Dok Zoom's heart:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2026/07/philly-suburb-sure-build-that-data-center-but-first-meet-our-43-demands/?

The zoning board can't ban the creation of a data center but they can place conditions regarding health and safety. The conditions, listing in the article sound very reasonable but place so many hurdles in front of the developer that they're crying "foul." Litigation will delay contruction for a few years, I think. And that's a win right there.

cmd Human Scum's avatar

That's a pretty amazing story about Ashley Moody and that whole Hope Florida thing. Also a good background on the money going to Hope Florida in the first place. I've never seen it all nicely laid out like that. Ok, Florida Dems, can we condense this down to digestible parts so it can be used in the SENATE RACE that is right around the CORNER?

ETA, if nothing else, it does seem to have dashed Casey DeSantis' hopes at succeeding Ron as governor.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Rebecca. Over 20 years ago, I visited Montana for a four day wedding event on Flathead Lake. We visited Glacier National Park, entered Yellowstone through Gardiner Gate (the original entrance) and were soon in Wyoming. The trip included Devil's Tower and The Badlands, and a short stay with my friends adjacent to the Rosebud Reservation. We returned to NYC via Rapid City. I'm sipping flowery green tea; darling husband Meccalopolis is still abed. Yes, at noon, being retired is great! When he stirs, I'll make fruit bowls. Good day, beloved Wonketteers. We love and appreciate you all and we bless us all with love, health, peace, and grace.

Please, please stay safe. Wear a mask or two, wash your hands, sanitize when you cannot wash and let the sanitizer dry completely, stop touching your face, take Vitamin D, get a booster shot six months after your last and catch up on any other vaccines you need (and if there are children in your life, make sure they're vaccinated also, too), avoid indoor and crowded outdoor gatherings and when you must meet, remove masks only to eat, drink, and take quick photos, and stay the fuck away from us and anyone with whom you do not share a roof. Do this because you love yourself, and because we love you, too. Do this in memory of 27 Club member Treg and heroic Tony, Holly's pilot friend, among nearly eight million dead worldwide. Do this to honor the nurses and other frontline medical personnel (we adore you, all medicos of Wonkette, active and retired), especially ICU Hera Mrs Land Shark, RN. Stay safe. #VOTE #BlueTsunami

Slava Ukraini. 🌻🇺🇦💙💛

Meccalopolis's avatar

Good, morni .. er, afternoon, every Wonk!

DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

Mrs DV and I are going to vote today. She has her ID kit ready to go: SS card, passport, Known Traveler card, birth certificate, marriage license, driver's license, and voter registration. The documents are kept in a safe. She plans to present them to the poll worker saying, "Is this sufficient?" Me, I'm going to simply show my driver's license because I'm male but I'm going to ask a question: "The President says that voting is rigged. Is he right or is he a liar?

jltympanum's avatar

Ya know, DFT has been squealing that the voting is rigged pretty much since Day 1 of his cursed political career. What he neglected to mention is that HE is doing the rigging.

Mojopo's avatar

Why is it that all you commie libs are the nicest looking people ever? You and your kind smiles, your fun expressions, your healing auras…I swear it’s like you were made at a pinko factory.

DV Thrombossa Nova's avatar

On the advice of counsel, I respectfully offer these nose glasses, a whoopie cushion, one pregnant goat, and two middle fingers."

Karen Scofield's avatar

Breakfast with Tab's 😎💯👍

PropellerVigo's avatar

That Mamdani article:

"On Fox Business, host Cheryl Casone said she understood the position of the families because Mamdani “does not have much sorrow about 9/11“ and “if it was 25 years ago, he’d be probably supporting the attackers on the World Trade Center.”"

---

25 years ago he'd probably be 10.

Zyxomma's avatar

Mamdani will be 35 in October, so he was NINE on 9/11.

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Same people who point at Obama and ask why he didn't serve in Viet Nam.

Cincinnatus's avatar

On Trump falling asleep at Graham's funeral:

“President Trump was reflecting on the loss of his dear friend Lindsey Graham, for whom he had just delivered a beautiful eulogy,” White House spokesman Davis Ingle told HuffPost. “Anyone suggesting otherwise is a depraved moron.”

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/white-house-reacts-trump-nap-lindsey-graham-funeral_n_6a690f6de4b098352c2fb748?origin=home-whats-happening-unit

cmd Human Scum's avatar

These WH spokespeople get shittier every day.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

BBC America ran a live feed during their broadcast yesterday; not only was Shitler visibly nodding off, but he was also slouching down and fidgeting in his seat, clearly uncomfortable, while everybody else was sitting upright, at least pretending to pay respectful attention.

It was quite the visual contrast, which is probably why none of our fascist-complicit media providers carried it.

cmd Human Scum's avatar

He's acted like a fidgety kid in church at every funeral he's attended that I've seen.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

This was different in that the camera never cut away, just a constant live shot of his church row, with him at the end, the kind our networks avoid like the plague in the interest of sanewashing, so the difference in his posture, demeanor, and attention span compared to 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 was inescapably obvious.

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

“Paxton looks like he’s wearing an Edgar suit”

If he suddenly peeled off his skin to reveal a giant bug most people would probably just shrug and go “Well yeah, no duh”

Cincinnatus's avatar

"The deadline passed Tuesday for the Trump administration to ask the Supreme Court to reconsider its rejection of the president’s birthright citizenship restrictions, with no new filing on the docket. Trump vowed to seek a rehearing shortly after the opinion handed him a loss on a signature issue, but by Tuesday the 25-day window had elapsed with no new activity."

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ap-us-supreme-court-birthright-citizenship_n_6a695595e4b0fddbd7122cf2?ekr=&utm_source=buzzfeed&utm_medium=iframely

Cincinnatus's avatar

On Fauci's opening statement (NYT), and on "taking the 5th":

In a brief opening statement, Dr. Fauci noted that he had testified before Congress more than 200 times during the 38 years he ran the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, including during the Covid pandemic. “Over that period, I proved that I believe in and respect the value of legitimate congressional oversight,” he said.

“However,” Dr. Fauci added, “given Senator Paul’s obvious obsession with calling for my prosecution, his repeated slanderous comments about me, and recently his publicly releasing my unredacted personal diary aimed at embarrassing and intimidating me, the only conclusion I can reach is that the sole reason he is calling me before this committee is to get me to say something that could vindicate his repeated public pledges that I end up, in his words, ‘behind bars.’”

He told the panel that it pained him not to answer questions, but that he was doing so on the advice of his lawyers.

Michael Bowen's avatar

Didn't Biden pardon Fauci on his way out, just to protect him from bullshit like this?

Cincinnatus's avatar

Yes, but would not protect from any crimes after the pardon, like the GOPs asserting perjury from a later congressional hearing (if you get my drift).

Besides, Trump says any Biden autopen pardons are illegitimate and void.