Hey, if Onanim was readily, legally available, there might be fewer STIs and sexual assaults. (Yes, I know that sexual assault is usually more about power than sex; but sometimes it's just about sex.)
ETA: I immediately thought of George Carlin's bit about Muhammad Ali. Basically (rough quote) "If you don't want to go kill people in Vietnam, we aren't going to let you beat people up here."
So Europe is apparently going to run out of jet fuel in about 3 weeks just about when I'm supposed to head home from Ireland. "Oh really? I guess I'll have no choice but to stay."
I deleted my notes thinger, but Andy replies to that blep with a full upside down which-side-is-the-head--doggy-croissant move. He's like an IKEA chair, but fluffy and also a nerd.
People, do not enlist in the military right now. The Navy Sec has been replaced with a guy who talks about the evils of witchcraft- crucial to military strategy for sure. But he looks kind of brown and doesn't have a PNW accent.
Adult Swim had a great bump last night about the difference between Scottish Gaelic and Irish Gaelic. Irish Gaelic is "unintelligible" while Scottish Gaelic is "incomprehensible".
The US trade delegation is demanding concessions before negotiations even start with Canada.
I think that Canada will slow walk these negotiations until November.
What, like a poutine stand?
You know, like Canada has a single fuck to give about that.
Carney on line 1: "Fuck you."
Going through some old images I came across this one and LOLed a little bit in my mouth. It seems so apropos.
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!WBEw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2Fa039f6cd-93c6-4ecb-b5c1-fa7942bb2488%2F4d197f22-3642-45ff-b275-915dbec6146c.jpeg
Looks Artificially Intelligent. Will it thank me or tell me that it loves me?
To quote Woody Allen’s character in Sleeper (re: the Orgasmatron): “Whaddya do when that thing breaks down, switch to manual?”
Hey, if Onanim was readily, legally available, there might be fewer STIs and sexual assaults. (Yes, I know that sexual assault is usually more about power than sex; but sometimes it's just about sex.)
The WankMaster 2000SF! Haven't seen one of those in years!
I had the 4 amp version as a lad. Nothing quite like it.
Li'l Feller modified one to generate bitcoins.
Majority Report: 'Trump READING The BIBLE Is INSANE To WATCH'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scrI7yZMRII
Actual robots didn't sound as robotic as TFG did. 🙄🙄🙄
Trump sounded robuttocks.
<sigh>
<reluctant_rimshot_monkey.gif>
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gUc2!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fmedia_upload%2Fcomment%2F66a25387-be6d-4a7d-b3c2-171bce5ca442%2Fa4f47c4d-1e15-47de-bb71-0fb148744090.gif
Now that the NBA and NHL playoffs are under way, one of the more irritating clichés you keep hearing is that a player or a team is "physical."
As opposed to what?
Spiritual? Non-corporeal? AI-generated? Existing only as a concept?
"Are We Running Out of Words?"
"Did we not have many to start with?"
Holograms. Like the holodeck in Star Trek.
Hockey is inherently physical. I laugh when I hear talk of basketball as physical.
Oh? Go look at a video of Victor Wembanyama getting his head dribbled off the floor like a basketball last night and get back to me:
https://x.com/NBAonNBC/status/2046758413573521573
That's barely a penalty in hockey and it happens all the time.
Skillful.
I also hate when they say they are "competitors" and specifically with the NHL, "motoring." They are not damn boats!
In that context, the word seems vacuous.
Conscientious objecter?
ETA: I immediately thought of George Carlin's bit about Muhammad Ali. Basically (rough quote) "If you don't want to go kill people in Vietnam, we aren't going to let you beat people up here."
Looks like the "negotiations" in Lebanon were on par with Iran.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘜𝘚 𝘌𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘓𝘦𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.
https://xcancel.com/GlobeEyeNetwork/status/2047041930761027805#m
Iran just took a step up.
They just issued that advisory‽‽‽
Americans in Beirut NEEDED it??!!
There must be some really dense Americans in the ME.
On Stephanie:
"What kind of deal will Trump end up with?"
Well nothing good, that's for damn sure!
"TOTAL VICTORY!"
He'll be lucky to get terms as good as the ones we had under Obama's agreement.
I just resumed MSNBC a minute ago.
'Trump is 4 points near to an approval rating in the 20's.'
Sounds like the decade he want to take us back to.
He and his oligarch cabinet are trying, for sure.
Dude Iran could give him a commemorative plaque stating that he won and a $5 McDonalds giftcard and he'd declare TOTAL VICTORY!
A McGolden Certificate!
So Europe is apparently going to run out of jet fuel in about 3 weeks just about when I'm supposed to head home from Ireland. "Oh really? I guess I'll have no choice but to stay."
Just don’t let them persuade you to return on an unsinkable ship without enough lifeboats.
Sounds good.
Better to be stranded there than here.
I'd stay.
I think he's pining for the fjords.
Hoodlum 🇺🇸
@nothoodlum.bsky.social
How desperate do you have to be to post ratings from a TV show from 22 years ago?
https://bsky.app/profile/nothoodlum.bsky.social/post/3mk4vwu3qns2v
If Coach had put me in, we would've won state. Guarantee it.
That stinking desperate. Hope it hurts.
Someone who peeked in the 90's and can't move on with their lives.
He's a POfuckingS.
He's fucking gone.Has been for the past 10 years.
What a dweeb.
https://youtu.be/FnDUpDFDivM?si=C0_JCUoh-3rZHGVH
Good Morning Starshine
Kegseth with Kash- "Yeah Buddy, we're gonna blast open that Strait of Vermouth!"
They can take the FBI plane there.
Thank you, Rep Bonnie Coleman, for helping us follow the money in this kleptocracy until we can stop it
https://bsky.app/profile/drrenemd.bsky.social/post/3mk4kogzalk2d
At least some people are keeping track of the corruption for later use.
Exactly
💯
Follow the money. Always.
Remember at one point Trump said the Gulf monarchies would pay us trillions for "defense".
𝘚𝘦𝘤. 𝘉𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘜𝘈𝘌 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘜𝘈𝘌 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘪𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘊𝘕𝘠 𝘪𝘧 𝘜𝘚 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘜𝘚𝘋 𝘴𝘸𝘢𝘱 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰 (𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘮):
"𝘠𝘦𝘴 - 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘸𝘢𝘱 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 '𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘜𝘚 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘴'."
https://xcancel.com/LukeGromen/status/2047002931963081161#m
This was so predictable. What does Polymarket have to say?
I spend enough time at the dog park to know a barky little shithead when I see one...the markets will catch up eventually.
Gotta bail out one of the richest Muslim theocracies in the world because they gave his son-in-law money.
Trump voters...! Is this thing on?
He got his new plane so they can fuck off.
Is a "swap line" like a "skip trace?"
A Skip trace is when Henry Louis "Skip" Gates looks into your family tree on PBS.
No, a skip trace is when you're trying to find someone. A swap line is when you have found them and want to rob them.
Thanks!
Now hand over all your Tacos, and your Netflix password!
Sure, why not?
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m5Sp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffbd61549-818b-46c3-9ca4-132ed8be0b8c_3264x2448.jpeg
Look at the shiny pretty chompers in that smile!
Nerd!!!
I deleted my notes thinger, but Andy replies to that blep with a full upside down which-side-is-the-head--doggy-croissant move. He's like an IKEA chair, but fluffy and also a nerd.
HI, ANDY!!!
LOTS OF TREATS,
LINUS 🐾
Linus!!
How are you and The Crew doing tonight?
okay
I hope you are doing better.
Good, good.
And, well, I'm getting there. Every time you think things are even-ing out..BAM!
Thanks, Hammy 💙
"𝘠𝘦𝘴 - 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘸𝘢𝘱 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 '𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘜𝘚 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘴'."
Ah, so you're a speculator, eh Scooter?
This all gonna be funny as shit when the world embraces global communism and these fuckers just sittin there...
What?
Ya, they got their shit blown up for thinking the US was a stable country. The price just went up.
IS ANYBODY PAYING ATTENTION?!
He lies a lot
https://bsky.app/profile/drrenemd.bsky.social/post/3mk4kogzalk2d
Your gift for understatment triggered the LIGO gravity wave detectors.
LIGO is like giving a blind old man the ability to know when two people are fucking.
Two very large and massive people fucking a long ways away.
When black holes fuck, people listen.
HAH..!
People, do not enlist in the military right now. The Navy Sec has been replaced with a guy who talks about the evils of witchcraft- crucial to military strategy for sure. But he looks kind of brown and doesn't have a PNW accent.
Remember those "Army of 1" ads....
Be all you can be!
They do more by 8 am than most people do all day, allegedly.
More laundry, that's for sure.
We do more standing around and procrastinating by 0900 than most people do all day.
Oh hell no. Christ in hell, I’m more worried that they’ll try to draft my son (age 19).
Listen, and I'm not kidding, Gallbladder's lawn may be a very real option on the way to anywhere else.
This is beyond parody. This is a history lesson that no one has ever read before, somehow, even though it is the exact. same. story.
smgdh
Fuck these idiots. They should be *redacted* every time they open their droolingly fucking STUPID mouths!
But someone who truly believes in witches, usually a christofascist, can be very dangerous.
Anyone fighting a "holy" war is at odds with the stated goals of the United States of America.
And is likely an unreasonable fool whom nobody should follow except their loving family carrying their luggage up to the asylum gates.
Fucking christ.
What do the chicken bones say?
Let me consult my ouija board and get back to you.
Probably the same as the Magic 8 Ball or fortune cookies.
The Ouija Board wants a word.
I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ok, but only in Bitcoin or Yuan.
As long as you aren't pushing.
"Cluck, cluck, ergg, ergg, plukk, plukk, wah ah cock o doodle dooo ! "
Those and the tea leaves.
“Red arrows / lines are the approximate pave limits direction that they will pave”
English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
You’re in construction, weejee, you’ve surely lived this
You need the Blue Man Group to English translator app.
Adult Swim had a great bump last night about the difference between Scottish Gaelic and Irish Gaelic. Irish Gaelic is "unintelligible" while Scottish Gaelic is "incomprehensible".
I find both to be both.
How Come the Big Tent Always Welcomes Never Trumpers But Never Expands to Include Progressives?
https://youtu.be/nj1n7y3RYwM?si=2ivEZtD37LMTSdOR
Joy and Waj
Lawrence is not letting Bobby Brain Worm’s “reparenting” comment go.
Somebody needs to lash that ass.
Early. Often. Relentlessly.