11 Comments

Good Lord, Democrats, is it not possible for you to ONCE outdo expectations? Pussies.

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Time to double down with Senate Minority Leader Elizabeth Warren.

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This is ridiculous. If only the Democrats could vote themselves a spine, but apparently that's way too hard.

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And they can't figure out why the voters aren't rushing to the polls to re-elect them.

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<i>Yr Wonkette would just like to remind you that it’s awfully early in the day to start drinking.</i>

Why is this the first I'm hearing of this?

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A Carnegie Deli sandwich is born.

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Jesus wept.

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Perhaps an NFL team with a controversial name could become the Washington Yellowbellies.

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You know 15 days isn't a lot of time even if they worked tirelessly for 6 or 7 hours a day. Plus, they have a pretty full schedule as it is. On Day one there's the planning for the Senate Christmas Party. They're trying to get Christie to play Santa this year because he's so jolly. But that's a tough get - everyone wants Chris. Day two they'll be planning for the incoming Senate freshman. There's a lot to do there, what with planning the initiation rituals, decorating the Senate, coming up with this year's theme and of course the party favors. Lindsey Graham makes the cutest party favors. All of this can't possibly be done in one day, so they blocked out a week. Day 8 - Bloviating. Day 9 - STEAM ROOM DAY!! Bring a friend. Day 10 is "Fallen Heroes Remembrance Day". This is when the Senate remembers their brothers who fell in battle, in both close races and blowouts. Cardinal Dolan will do the eulogy. Day 11 is set for Senate Bill 4656, "Saluting the Constituents". This is a special commemoration bill that acknowledges the work of all of the great Millionaires and Billionaires that made this Senate possible. Day 12 is "Fitness Day" with special guest instructor, Paul Ryan. Come on out and pump iron with Mr. P90x himself. There will be special mini-weights for the ladies, so don't be afraid girls.

So you see, how can you possibly confirm an AG in 2 or 3 days?

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No, you're confusing Loretta Lynch with Tammy Wynettch.

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It is never too early to start dinking!

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