224 Comments
User's avatar
Michael's avatar

OT. The Callais decision is the gift that keeps giving for those frikkin Johnny Rebs in the New Confederacy:

https://www.aol.com/articles/alabama-governor-calls-special-session-190948393.html

Judi Lakin's avatar

Mike Johnson is such a wanker! God, you really cracked me up in this article! I laughed so hard, I almost peed myself.

Mike Scully's avatar

As terrible as he’s been at this job, his real moment to shine will be when he declines to seat people after the midterms (I doubt he can last until 2029). He led the brief to overturn the 2020 election (quickly thrown out) and still voted against certification AFTER the Jan 6 attack. That’s literally his only job. Had Kamala won, it is safe to assume he would have led the fight to overturn those results.

Sojourner44's avatar

Dipshits like Johnson are why I'm no longer a Southern Baptist.

House0fTheBlueLights's avatar

Can someone who knows about how the sausage /is/ made explain what "rules" means in this context:

"It’s been very disastrous to cram this all into three rules"

Left Coast Tom's avatar

It's not *supposed* to be a problem what gets "crammed" into which rules because the majority party members are supposed to vote "yes" on the rule while the minority party votes "no". The cat-herding is supposed to happen on the actual vote for the bill.

Johnson not being able to get his own members to "vote for the rule", which is really nothing more than an affirmation of their own majority, is insanely stupid.

House members vote on a special "rule" to bring each bill to the floor.

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

“Though shalt not suffer the meek to live…” is what it says, right?

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

“We had an agreement today and then you changed it! I’m going to go vote no!” before slamming a door in Johnson’s face"

I don't think men should be in leadership postions - we are too emotional, too hysterical, it's the hormones and everything

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Their differences could have been solved by a sissy slap fight.

Left Coast Tom's avatar

"Some Republicans told NOTUS it was unwise for Johnson to have clumped multiple controversial bills into one rule — including one for Republicans’ budget blueprint for reconciliation. "

I'm thinking if "some Republicans" wanted a more deliberative approach then maybe they should have said something about Johnson keeping the House on vacation seemingly forever.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

But he had to do something to limit the number of votes about the Epstein files.

SethTriggs's avatar

Well Speaker Covenant Eyes is only there to help fuck the Federal government so that the unreconstructed state-based regimes of terror can wild out.

Why are the Republicans so pissed? Aren't they elated now that they can prevent all the Black people from having representation in those same unreconstructed state-based regimes of terror?

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Their entire ideology grew out of the fight to keep segregation.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Have you ever seen a happy republican? There’s always some grievance that they’re whining about.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Marc Almond made a song about Mike Johnson a long time ago...

Marc Almond With The Willing Sinners – Mother Fist And Her Five Daughters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKeFkJkS1yQ

(Mother Fist is the first track.)

Wookiee Monster's avatar

If there is a biblical figure that America’s creepiest youth pastor resembles, it’s Job. Grindr Mike is constantly tormented and humiliated by the devil (Pedo47 in this analogy) but despite this, he remains steadfastly loyal to his god (also Pedo47) and never stops praising his name.

Antifa Commander's avatar

‘We’re coming to a Red Sea moment.’ ‘What does that mean, Lord?’

Means you better have your water wings handy, Mikey.

SkeptiKC's avatar

Cue Frank Zappa, "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?".

Bagels of Doom's avatar

And the lord sayeth "The Strait isn't going to open, assholes"

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Phony-baloney right-wing “Christian” talk.

Chris Martin's avatar

MO-02 voters, do not be fooled by Ann Wagner’s apparent resistance. if she ever held a town hall, I would ask why she signed on to Ken Paxton’s 2020 election lawsuit. the only possible answers are either she was dumb enough to believe it, or power hungry enough to go along with it.

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

everywonk remembers the time this wee fuck literally handed over his gavel to the current occupant of the White House, right?

Wookiee Monster's avatar

It was the same day he handed over his balls and his spine.

Cincinnatus's avatar

"Sometimes when you have a small margin as we do, people have different ideas, different priorities about very contentious pieces of legislation, but we got it done because ultimately we just used patience and frankly prayer and we get a lot of people together and we listen to their concerns and we try to get the disparate priorities handled," Johnson said Thursday. [NPR]

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

You used reconciliation to pass with a simple majority, and you can only do that twice.

gallbladder's avatar

Was Chip Roy praying when he slammed his door in your face, Mikey?

Pauly2coffees's avatar

He was doing The Lord’s work.

Zonath of Ur's avatar

Mike Johnson hasn't been able to keep the government funded for more time than probably any speaker before him, and yet I haven't seen millions of "Republicans in Disarray" stories for some reason.

Pauly2coffees's avatar

Like even electing him speaker wasn’t a complete clown show.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

The weeklong shit show that was Kevin’s election as speaker has long been memory holed.