MTG Admits Imaginary 'ABC Whistleblower' Did Not Die In An Imaginary Car Accident
Well, that's certainly big of her.
With all of the completely batshit conspiracy theories going around right now on the Right, we haven’t paid much attention to the “ABC Whistleblower” — a supposed former ABC employee who claims that Kamala Harris was given the debate questions ahead of time and also received other accommodations that helped her and hurt poor Donald Trump.
However, that story got a little spicier this weekend when Marjorie Taylor Greene announced that said anonymous whistleblower had tragically died.
“The ABC whistleblower who claimed Kamala Harris was given debate questions ahead of the debate has died in a car crash according to news reports,” Greene tweeted on Sunday.
The “news report” came from County Local News, a very legit looking site, which cited Joseph Okechukwu, a pro-Trump Nollywood (Nigerian Hollywood) actor, conspiracy theorist and anti-masturbation activist, as its source.
Okechukwu also cited the existence of supposed “news reports” reporting this incident, but did not specify which ones. Granted, it would be pretty hard for anyone to nail down any solid information on the death of an anonymous whistleblower who probably doesn’t even exist in a car accident.
The accusation was so baseless that, as excited as she was at the thought of torturing another person’s grieving family the way she tortured Seth Rich’s grieving family, even Marge had to admit it wasn’t true.
“This story appears to be false and I’m glad to hear it,” she tweeted. “We need a serious investigation into the whistleblower’s report that Kamala Harris was given debate questions ahead of time from ABC!”
The supposed ABC whistleblower’s supposed affidavit has been released online by the social media account Black Insurrectionist--I FOLLOW BACK TRUE PATRIOTS, who claims to know the identity of said whistleblower — and boy, does that all seem like a thing that is true.
According to the “affidavit,” Harris was given “sample questions” ahead of time that were very similar to the incredibly predictable and obvious questions asked by the ABC moderators. The best part, though, is that she supposedly got a smaller podium than did Trump, due to the fact that she is nearly a foot shorter than his self-reported height of 6’3”:
The Harris campaign received particular accommodations, including, but not limited to, the providing of a podium significantly smaller than that used by Donald Trump, and assurances regarding split-screen television views that would favorably impact Kamala Harris's appearance relative to Donald Trump.
This doesn’t appear to have been the case, but I also don’t think it would be weird if her podium were smaller than his was. However, one of Trump’s big fears ahead of the election was that Harris would have been given something to stand on during the debate that would make her look taller than she is. Apparently, he thinks being taller than a 5’4” woman is one of his big selling points as a candidate.
To be fair, it’s not as if he much else going for him.
While we must give Greene credit for admitting that the bombshell news item she got from a random Nigerian actor may not have been 100 percent true, she’s still very sure that the ABC whistleblower, whose identity is known only by this one anonymous internet account (though they are supposedly working on a deal to introduce the whistleblower to the fine minds over at Gateway Pundit) is a real person and is excited to get to the bottom of their definitely-not-imaginary accusations.
Hopefully they won’t run into an imaginary car bomb before we can all learn the truth.
For reasons, I think this Okechukwu guy is perennial troll Turgid Love Muscle.
My doctor told me I need to stop masterbating.
I asked "But why, doctor?"
He said, "Because I'm trying to give you an examination."