Muscle-Bound NRA Spokesdude: Gun Regulations Are Just Like Jim Crow Laws

Were you guys hoping that you could kickstart Hump Day with a beefysmack dude gunsplaining at you about how the Constitution works? SPOILER ALERT: It works because GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNNNNNSSSSSSSS.

Let's meet the improbably named Dom Raso, who hit upon what he clearly thought was a really cunning way to explain how important guns are: they're a civil right, and any law against them is just like Jim Crow. Take THAT, libtards.

He kicks off his devastating rhetorical tour de force logic bomb by throwing down Webster's dictionary definition of civil rights, because everybody knows that is exactly how law works. You just look up a word in the dictionary and then you are done, son. Then he pivots to his masterful discussion of comparing any restrictions whatsoever on incessant gun fondling to Jim Crow laws, because everybody also knows that if you compare one thing to another thing, those things are automagically related. That's just science fact.

"So just because someone makes a law that says you can't buy, own, or carry a weapon, doesn't make it lawful. Jim Crow laws were also passed and enforced and those were equally as unconstitutional. Too many Americans don't think of the Second Amendment as a civil rights issue and that's dangerous because all of those rights together define freedom."

Dom, you are a brick. Jim Crow laws were unconstitutional because they took an entire goddamn race of people and treated them differently for no rational reason. Telling everyone in America they cannot own automatic weapons and keep them laying around on the porch for the kids to play with does not discriminate against any particular group. Except the stupid. It definitely discriminates against the stupid, but they're not a protected class.

Are you surprised to learn that this comparison is actually the best part of Dom's Cool Constitution Funtime? Probably not! He'd also like you to know that it isn't the Constitution that gives you your civil rights WHICH TOTALLY INCLUDE THE SECOND AMENDMENT SHUT UP YOU GUYS. No, everyone on earth is born with America's bill of rights, because those are human rights. We are not making this up. Go watch the goddamn video.

Do you think he means ALL the amendments to the constitution? Are people in Lithuania born with just the Bill of Rights tattooed on their soul, or do they get get those lesser amendments like the one about what day the President's term starts on (20th Amendment, bitches) as well? What do they do with those?

Dom also has to throw in the obligatory reference to how you won't feel very free when you're on the phone waiting for the cops to save you from a home invasion because you don't have a gun. The NRA has done a really excellent job of making gun humpers think that home invasions happen every 10 seconds or something, when actually they're pretty rare, relatively speaking, but it is clear from Dom's overall presentation here that his relationship to facts -- or logic -- of any sort can best be described as casual. Actually, "casual" is too charitable. Dom has more like a one-night stand relationship with facts. Or maybe a no-tell motel level relationship. Either way, he doesn't really trouble his beautiful mind with anything that might undercut his certitude that God wanted us all to be born with a gun in our hand and the repeal of Prohibition in our heart. Free at last.

[ MMFA ]