Musk's Doggie Hackerboys Update!

Big Balls in, Erez out, lawsuits all over.

Now the latest on Elon’s troop of lost boys who have reportedly been lawlessly feeding the government agencies’ data into AI chatbots to figure out how they can best gut them, and raising their tiny fists to threaten anyone in government who dares to try and stand in their way! All with the full-throated man-support of the interim US Attorney for DC, Ed Martin.

Wired has been all over this story like ticks on a coonhound, bless ‘em.

Newsweek is reporting that Luke Farritor, 23, is now listed in the Department of Energy's staff directory as an “information engineer.” Just some kid who can barely shave in the systems of the department overseeing nuclear weapons, nothing to see here!

University of Nebraska at Lincoln video

Oh, and now DOGE kids are in the systems at the Consumer Fraud Protection Bureau and NOAA too.

Meanwhile at the Treasury Department, Jonathan Blum, principal deputy assistant secretary for legislative affairs, had been claiming that any access the kids had was read-only, meaning they couldn’t break anything, they could just look at all your everything.

You’re not going to believe this, but they were lying. Reuters, you’re cleared for takeoff:

The Post cited records it had obtained showing several members of the DOGE team run by the South African-born billionaire were granted “administrative” access to OPM computer systems days after Trump's Jan. 20 inauguration.

“That gives them sweeping authority to install and modify software on government-supplied equipment and, according to two OPM officials, to alter internal documentation of their own activities,” the Post wrote.

At the very same time Musk / DOGE have been over on Xitter nonstop bragging about all the shit they were deleting, plus feeding USAID to the “woodchipper.”

Well, all of that sure doesn’t sound very read-only. Musk is also reportedly building his own custom generative AI chatbot for the US General Services Administration, “GSAi.” Sure hope this new thing does better than Grok, that “anti-woke” chatbot of his that 33 percent of users say has given them inaccurate or misleading information.

The mad dash to have a bunch of kids AI everything is all under the alleged auspices of saving tax dollars. Funny how this thrift campaign in no way applies to the biggest, fraudiest, wastiest, price-gougingest, least-competitive-biddingest department of all, the Department of Defense! Which according to Republican Glenn Grothman has done shit like pay $120 BILLION for aircraft carriers with so many technical problems that their deployment got delayed by 15 years. Funny how nobody’s talking about any potential waste in Elon’s companies, which have gotten $20 BILLION in government contracts over the past 16 years. Two billion to American farmers to grow food for humanitarian aid, that is wasteful handout! Paying billions for boats that don’t float at $37 per screw, well, that is just PATRIOTISM MONEY!

Today’s billionaires, all noblesse and no oblige.

Anyway, on Thursday, in a lawsuit from the Alliance for Retired Americans, federal Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly ruled that DOGE and its lackeys must GTFO out of the Treasury’s system, with the exception of:

• Mr. Tom Krause, a Special Government Employee in the Department of the Treasury, as needed for the performance of his duties, provided that such access to payment records will be “read only”;

• Mr. Marko Elez, a Special Government Employee in the Department of the Treasury, as needed for the performance of his duties, provided that such access to payment records will be "read only";

• Any person who is an employee (but not a Special Government Employee) of the Department of the Treasury and who has a need for the record or system of records in the performance of their duties;

• Any person who is entitled to access the record or system of records under 5 U.S.C. § 552a(b)(2)-(13); and

• Any person who is entitled to access the relevant record or system of records under the Internal Revenue Code.

That sure seems to pointedly apply to Elon, FWIW. And now it seems only private-equity hatchet man Krause will be doing the read-onlying, because 25-year-old Elez reportedly resigned the very same day, after the Wall Street Journal (gift link) found posts of his within the past year where he bragged about how racist he is, and for a “tech genius” he sure did a piss-poor job of covering his tracks. Some quotes: “Just for the record, I was racist before it was cool.” “You could not pay me to marry outside of my ethnicity.” “Normalize Indian hate.” “99% of Indian H1Bs will be replaced by slightly smarter LLMs [AI large language models], they’re going back don’t worry guys.” And NPR found from just two months ago: “I just want a eugenic immigration policy, is that too much to ask."

Does anyone really think that his Sieg-Heiling boss gives one shit? It was just some Roman racism, you guys! Musk is defending him, of course.

Way to confirm that it was him, smarty. And he’s real mad at the WSJ about it too.

And he Tweeted that the reporter was a “disgusting and cruel person.” SO MEAN TO HIS LITTLE BOYS.

JD Vance on Xitter: “I obviously disagree with some of Elez’s posts, but I don’t think stupid social media activity should ruin a kid’s life. We shouldn’t reward journalists who try to destroy people. Ever. So I say bring him back.” Ah, the young white Republican paradox, both beyond-his-years genius enough to have access to every government dollar, yet too young and dumb to be accountable for his own words from just two months ago.

Still employed: 19-year-old Edward Coristine, the popcorn heir who goes by “Big Balls” and founded a company called Tesla.Sexy LLC when he was 16 that controls dozens of web domains, some of them in Russia and China.

How “not able to pass a background check” is Big Balls? Before getting a gig with Musk’s brain-messing startup, Coristine was an intern at a cybersecurity firm called Path Network, working alongside Eric Taylor, also known as Cosmo the God, a former cybercriminal and member of the hacker group UGNazis, and Matthew Flannery, an Australian convicted hacker whom police allege was a member of the hacker group LulzSec. While there, an individual using a Telegram alias linked to Coristine reportedly sought out a cyberattack-for-hire service.

And UPDATE OH LOOKIE HERE, Bloomberg is reporting that Big Balls was fired from Path Network for leaking company secrets to a competitor, AND he bragged later on Discord that he retained access to the company’s servers. Also DOGEboy Gavin Kliger reposted content from white supremacist Nick Fuentes, and Andrew Tate.

Other lawsuits against the pubescent hackery are pending! Democracy Forward and labor organizations have also filed suit against the Department of Labor and gotten a temporary restraining order, and 13 state Attorneys General say they’re on their way to the courthouse too.

Can the courts get those coyotes out of the chickenhouse before too much damage is done? We shall see.

And now “Three Sad Virgins” will be stuck in our heads all day long.

It’s a hazard of the job.

[American Prospect / Wired, “The US Treasury Claimed DOGE Technologist Didn’t Have ‘Write Access’ When He Actually Did”/ Wired “DOGE Teen Owns ‘Tesla.Sexy LLC’ and Worked at Startup That Has Hired Convicted Hackers”/ Wired, “Cosmo, the Hacker ‘God’ Who Fell to Earth” / “ Newsweek / WSJ gift link]

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