253 Comments
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Pixeloid's avatar

"conspirituality"

Great term! I'm stealing that.

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Clark Nova's avatar

Harvesting crystals for woo is like cutting up sequoias for magical toothpicks except the crystals take at least 10,000X as long to regrow.

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Zen Gali's avatar

Well stated, Sara. As I told my daughter, who is now in her mid-20s, "It's a metaphor. If something resonates, maybe that's worth paying attention to and exploring further." Not unlike religion. The minute you start taking it literally, you're fucked, and anyone who says they know "the truth" is either an idiot or a liar trying to sell you something (see: the republican party of the last 70 years).

"They just want your money," was ingrained by five, and she's doing just fine.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

All well and good, but the woo-to-conspiracy pipeline has been well demonstrated. The word "Conspirituality" isn't just a clever dig, it actually means something.

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Zen Gali's avatar

"Just say No."

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Mx.le Maerin's Luxury Comedy's avatar

My take, which I'm sure you've been waiting breathlessly for, is that crystals/tarot/astrology etc are a frame of reference. They can help us make sense of lives that are often inexplicable. And humans seem to have an innate need to believe in something More than themselves; it helps soothe the soul to have a mystic Blorbo helping to sort things out.

The trick is, not to get so caught up you start thinking Blorbo possesses this power in and of itself, somehow separate and above human consciousness. Nothing has meaning except that we assign it so. My slant is that when enough of us assign a particular meaning to a particular thing, it builds a reservoir of Meaning that can then be drawn on by any who subscribe to that system. We deposit our belief in a joint account that anyone can withdraw from. That's the reference tool that works for me; ymmv (do kids even use that acronym anymore?)

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Zen Gali's avatar

That sounds like Socialism! Ya know who else was a Commie? Jeebus!

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Boojum's avatar

I also like 1920s flappers.

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Garnet's avatar

I am named after a rock; there’s nothing mystical about it though :).

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

Sara, I agree. Annie Potts is classic, and has aged into everybody's cool grandma.

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GEM's avatar

Crystals and minerals are so pretty! I have no connection, just a love of rocks. I am very aware of provenance and it breaks my heart sometimes. The gem and mineral shows are my favorite.

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Sleepmonger's avatar

Someone once told me that people were just some rocks' way of traveling around to different places. :) Sounds right to me.

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Clark Nova's avatar

Just water's way to move uphill.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Sara. I love rocks and minerals. I love how the planet forms them. Crystal structure is wonderful. That said, I think your advice sound.

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Notorious J.I.M.'s avatar

I set aside anything interesting I find. I've got a couple examples that move the needle on a compass.

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Fiddlesticks's avatar

I really thought this column would have more drugs in it.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

I am very anti Woo-Woo stuff, but I don't feel it is my job to steer everyone back onto the path of sensible thought. This rather new for me, say the last twenty years or so. The change has been good for me and good at retaining social connections.

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OG Blockhead's avatar

People laugh at tarot until they start doing it. Just saying. But crystals can gtfo

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Marksb's avatar

I can't find the quote on the interwebs, but I remember Carl Sagan quoted back when Cosmos was a Thing: "You can quickly ascertain the relative useful intelligence of someone you just met at a dinner party by asking them what they think about astrology." Pretty much.

I have a colleague who is a great sales person, eats healthy, stays fit, is kinda' progressive politically, but he thinks chemtrails are a real thing and all the conspiracies that go with that belief. I can't follow his so-called logic, which only reminds me of what a dear friend, a psychologist, calls 'psych 101': "You will never understand an irrational mind if you are currently operating with a rational one."

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Chris's avatar

I do fancy Serious Science for a living, but I spent the pandemic buying shiny rocks off etsy, because did you know you can buy a lab grown emerald for like $10? A lot of the shiny rocks come with little cards telling me how they "repel bad energy" or something like that, but the seller believing nonsense doesn't stop my rocks from being shiny.

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Jessica's avatar

I too like shiny rocks. It's a pity that the crystal woo crowd have pushed their prices up

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Bruce's avatar

I am a lapsed BioChemist , and at home I have a beautiful teensy cracked rod of artificial sapphire (clear white not green). Sadly I keep it, not because of the magical auras it can produce, but as a reminder of the time I tried to fix a stuck HPLC pump head by just pushing harder, then heard a tiny 'snk' and had to replace a (iirc) $120 synthetic sapphire Waters HPLC piston...

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