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Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

<a href="http:\/\/www.made-in-china.com\/showroom\/lionchen79\/product-detailFownzMsLSiVb\/China-Heart-Knife-Block-Heart-Knife-Set.html" target="_blank">Totes.</a>

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

You broke my heart, so I busted your jaw.

Rabbit_Rebozo's avatar

<i>A thigh holster is much sexier than a delicate, lacy negligee when you explain that you’re giving her this is a gift because you want to protect your most valuable asset — her.</i>

Ha, I was totally expecting this to end <i>"- her thighs... and what lies between them."</i>

Clearly, I am not a romantic.

chascates's avatar

I did meet a young lady who had a gun & holster tattooed on her thigh and it was incredibly exciting. But she managed to run away before I could take a shot at her.

Tiny kaiju's avatar

This writer isn't even trying to pretend that penis = gun is not just analogy for the phallically challenged.

Incoming Ham's avatar

For the gal who has everything, you are going to have to go bigger than an AR - introduce her to the RPG, a logical (and sexy!) step up from hand held firearms.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

I'd rather she just continue using that cast-iron frying pan for self defense, painful tho' it be.

Jared James's avatar

In fairness, Dok, you were only eying those Rainbow Dash earrings so you could borrow them anyway, so probably better to go with that nice little snub-nose .38.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Because there's nothing sexier than <a href="http:\/\/politicsworldwide.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/gun-nut-14.jpg" target="_blank">a woman with a gun.</a>

The Quirk's avatar

But unlike a Sci-Fi convention, if they mess w/ your girl you're ARMED.

Of course, so are they. But that just makes V-Day so much more memorable.

ViveLaProtestPayments's avatar

I hope this idea doesn't get traction at Edible Arrangements. "Wait, Sugar, that's not a chocolate covered banana...."

Fartknocker's avatar

Damn you Chicken Thief. I just blew iced tea through my sinus cavity.