NEVER FORGET: That Time Donald Trump Looked Directly At An Eclipse
True history.
Greetings, it is your Wonkette “Signs And Wonders” reporter Evan, coming at you directly from the Upside Down AKA “totality.” (Undisclosed location in Arkansas.) And to begin our day of apoc-eclipsing or whatever it is, we would like you to take a moment to reflect back on what happened last time there was a total solar eclipse in America, in 2017, when Donald Trump was inexplicably the president. He had ONE JOB, and it was do not look straight at the eclipse.
This really happened.
We would theorize that maybe that was the moment the idiot truly fried his brain, but TBH there’s no evidence it was in better shape before that day than after.
Be careful out there today, kids! Don’t look at eclipses with your bare eyeballs! Don’t do anything (Democratic) presidents wouldn’t do!
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Well geeze, I couldn’t get this to work on Substack today, which seems to be plagued with gremlins, so I’m using GIPHY. https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExZHVxdGQ3bW5lMzFkeDZiMGQ5eHZ3NWtqODE0Y2xwbDd6OTdjNm5xbSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/EP3hjjVCk2QZyDyFgy/source.gif
" And I have the best eyes, really, the best. I was talking to my doctor, he's an eye doctor, and he said 'Sir, you have perfect eyes' as a tear rolled down his cheek. And I said "I bet I can stare at the sun!' And he said 'Most people shouldn't, they really shouldn't. But you probably could.' So I did, and you never saw another eclipse while I was President, that I can tell you."