New Black Panther Party Set To Make White People Feel Mildly Uncomfortable
In a super-exclusive (read: he was the only person who would talk to them) interview with World Net Daily's Aaron Klein, New Black Panther Party head Malik Shabazz (real name: Paris Lewis) threatens to once again dominate the white man at up to one polling place in November.
During an interview on WABC Radio’s “Aaron Klein Investigative Radio,” Shabaz was asked whether his group is planning to go to U.S. polling stations in the upcoming presidential election.
Shabazz replied: “I will say that as this election comes up in November, we will consider our options. And we will consider the fact whether we will legally and lawfully go to the polls again to make sure there is no intimidation against our people, which was our intent in 2008.”
Mr. Shabazz, it is time for us to have a talk, because you are goddamn delusional.
We understand that it is nice to be interviewed by crazy white man Aaron Klein who confirms everything you ever thought about white people. To be fair, he confirms everything we ever thought about white people, too. But let us be clear about the resources available to you.
You "run" the New Black Panther Party. There are five of you. Maybe. Your options are pretty much 1) standing at one polling place while some hyperactive Fox News reporter bounces around you with a cameraphone like a submissive Federalist Tigger asking if you're going to dominate him, or 2) getting a booth at IHOP and hoping they still have pumpkin pancakes.
You have the grandest of dreams - perhaps even purchasing a new baton off of Amazon! - but let's be honest with each other. You don't have the cash to do that right now, and the baton thing is getting old. There are so many other things you could threaten to dominate this fall - a farmer's market, perhaps? Maybe a corn maze!
OOH, NEW BLACK PANTHER PARTY YOU SHOULD DOMINATE A HAUNTED HOUSE. Stand outside of Old Man Miller's abandoned mansion and stop that poltergeist from holding down proud Nubian apparitions!
[ Fox Nation ]
the secret illegitimate spawn of the lesbian tryst between Paris Hilton and Shari Lewis (because Shari Hilton just didn't have the same ring to it and Lamb Chop was already taken)
dunno bout that, the last couple shows I've done with her she's turned into quite the ditzy frumpy housewife type. She still sings well and is a nice person, but she's a long way from the Stone Poneys days