New Feets! Tabs, Mon., Aug. 17, 2026
Another normal week in America.
Buenos días, here are some things that happened this weekend:
Another story of a white MAGA man who can’t believe the ICE leopards ate his immigrant wife’s face. [New York Times gift link]
A smooth-brained beta cuck Fox News host named Joey Jones is now calling all the sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln “weak,” we guess that is the winning message Republicans have decided to go with. [JoeMyGod]
Mitch McConnell? He dead? Nobody knows. [CBS News]
Poor baby Clarence Thomas whining that he’s not welcome at Ivy League schools, awwwwwwwww, what a poor baby victim! Maybe if he had lived a respectable life he wouldn’t have to beg for such invites. [Fox News]
Meet the demented MAGA sicko responsible for ICE’s shock gloves. [Mother Jones]
Wow, too bad nobody like Bill Cassidy could have seen this coming.
Canadians have a pretty popular petition going to expel Trump’s ambassador, do it, do it, do it! [New York Times gift link]
Maybe we need to be tuning in a bit closer to the Senate race in Mississippi. [PBS]
Are Dems really serious about completely overhauling the Supreme Court now? This article says yes. It should be one of the absolute benchmarks for whether somebody is allowed to compete in the Democratic primary, honestly. If you can’t meet that one — AND ALSO ABOLISHING ICE — then you don’t get in the door. [Washington Post gift link]
The women who serve the MAGA fascists in the White House are apparently very tired from always having to look “MAGA perfect” all the time. Tiny violin. [Daily Mail]
Related, President Epstein Files is now making up Sir Stories about “young, beautiful girls.” [JoeMyGod]
To be fair, it was SBA Administrator Kelly Loeffler’s first weekend with feet.
“HABIBI CITY. A cultural shift is underway, led by a generation of New Yorkers coming into its own.” A really interesting article in New York mag about burgeoning rhw SWANA (Southwest Asia and North Africa) scene in New York, in the context of Mamdani and more. And now we really want to go to Barzakh Café in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, next time we are in New York. [New York mag archived link]
Not a new article but a good read with some historical perspective on why most of Trump’s supporters will never abandon him. It’s the propaganda and the brainwashing. Yes, this is literally a tab that’s been open for me since last October. Line that seems especially pertinent now: “Within the sealed information environment, substantial support for Stalin persisted throughout the famine among those not directly dying.” Those not directly dying. [The Existentialist Republic]
God, he’s hot.
Go to your bunk!
More stories when we damn well decide to make some.
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Help name some boisterous bear cubs, why not? Your hed gif info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/rub-a-dub-griz-twins-in-the-tub
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/dfa0b347-992a-492b-b2f8-0205a4eaf26e
To be fair, it's really hard to walk in heels once you've undergone the requisite MAGA lobotomy. Fucks with one's balance.
I'm kinda wondering which propagandist thought that walking interview style would be a good look for her.