Ta, Martini. Long, long ago I was living in Houston. My friends the leather dykes asked if I'd like to visit the circus after hours with them; they'd made friends. I got to ride one of the elephants! Still one of the peak experiences of my life.
Y’know, if you keep backing the view up further, it becomes clear that it’s actually a piece of walnut, not an elephant. Sorry to spoil your fun, but … there it is.
Alright, that’s my contribution this AM. I am going to go forth and try to be “noble but petty.” Yeah, that’s a good Evan-ism. IMHO.
Yeah, but. Stand next to one. Fuck, they are big. I also got to play around with a little five year old boy ele at the sanctuary. Guess how he acted? Like a five year old! His name is Shaka Zulu ❤️. He liked you to put his snacks on his head so he could practice his trunk moves to put them in his mouth 😹
Completely adorable. Yes, a dream come true. His big BIG friend, Sally, you'd want to be careful, though, to not get in her way. They're like moving buildings.
Can't really say that I have much sympathy for the residents of Middleburg. Their moneyed set created J.D. Vance, it's only fitting they have to put up with his obnoxious ass. Welcome to the Revolution, assholes.
Oh goody, we are bringing back Satanic Panic and the good ole days of Frank Perretti books where every liberal college professor/yoga teacher/queer person was a demonic front and the good Christian pastors and parents would get falsely accused of unspeakable acts because SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!! But they would get vindicated in the end because angels with swords.
I spent the 90's living in the midst of this ish and it did a number on me. I mean, can you really come to terms with the idea of clinical depression when you're sitting there going through lists of possible sins you might have committed to give demons a foothold in your life? I know to some degree this stuff has never fully gone away, but I hate that it is creeping back to the forefront in many circles.
That Demon Next Door article is genuinely terrifying. Both Mr Radley and I grew up in churches adjacent to charismaticism- in different countries- and we both have had some pretty wild experiences. His mum still 100% believes in demons and she has a Master's degree. All I can say is that charismatic preachers and "prophets" somehow always stick to what they ALREADY thought was evil- it's never hubris, false prophecy (unless there's a rival prophet) or the love of money that they cast out.
The paper in his hand is the WP sports page dated the 12th, the same day the pic was released. Oh so subtle “proof of life” like a kidnap victim. Complete codswallop.
The photo in the Post is an older one. The Orioles were not wearing that uniform that weekend, it was s homestand and they were wearing their white uniforms. It's possible the Post did not have a decent photo of Blaze Alexander from any of the games from that series and used a file photo instead. The Washington Post has discontinued their Sports section and probably don't routinely grab stuff off the wire, just in case, like they used to do.
When you get up from a couch while you’re watching a movie, and you’ve got a good seat, and siblings, you say spot back! so they know not to take your spot. Because you have said spot back.
That would make a good thought bubble for that picture, as Alice, idly wonders, “but what does “spot back” even mean?”
Huh. Buddy steals my spot all the time. I didn’t grow up in a normal home, There was my mother’s recliner, and there were dining room chairs. Or the floor. Her chair was as sacrosanct as Archie Bunker’s. Nobody else was allowed to sit in it. Same with the phone. We weren’t allowed to use it unless she was indisposed, and then we were only allowed to answer it and hold it for her.
I am guessing that for a time at least, that seemed normal to you? How old were you when you left? I shot out like a bat out of hell, too young, but it was about surviving. I’m glad those days are behind both of us.
Just to clarify, I am deeply amused by Alice’s shenanigans, and her proud claim of the warm spot when I get up. She occupies it so theatrically.
I can generate an unhealthy amount of rage when I hear about, or remember, that kind of bullshit. The only positive thing I can offer in response is what I said before, I’m glad that you’re out of it, that you can sit in any chair you choose, use any phone, eat any food in the refrigerator without asking permission, do your laundry. It’s the little things.
I started to read "The Demon Next Door" and wondered if the church is affiliated with a coffee shop I tried out once (https://www.thewellcoffeehouse.com/new-page) and decided wasn't my thing. Nobody tried to proselytize me, but it wasn't a comfortable place.
Making the rounds of the craft stores for a piece Ms. O was looking for, we were finally forced to check Hobby Lobby. The overt Christianity everywhere in the store is extremely creepy.
And yet practically everything they sell comes from China, not so many years past the one-child policy and still pretty doggone godless, as far as I know.
New Apostolic Reformation followers think they're exorcising demons and bringing God's Kingdom closer. They hate a lot of stuff that makes people happy and doesn't hurt people because they think it's demonic to live and let live. They're not totally connected with reality.
NYT: "Trump has paid the writer E. Jean Carroll $5.6 million that was owed to her as a result of a jury’s finding that he was liable for sexually assaulting her in a Manhattan department store in the 1990s and then defaming her, federal court records show. The money, which had been held in escrow while Mr. Trump appealed the 2023 jury award, was disbursed to Ms. Carroll last week, according to a note added to the online court docket in the case on Tuesday."
ICE got orders to ramp up their enforcement by Stephen Miller right before the Goode an Pretti murders. The purpose was to make the protestors too afraid of ICE to object to them.
HuffPost Updates: "Immigration and Customs Enforcement is reportedly telling its agents to pause most vehicle stops, after ICE agents fatally shot two motorists just days apart: Lorenzo Salgado Araujo in Houston, and Joan Sebastian Guerrero in Biddeford, Maine. CBS News reported the change “will remain in place while ICE provides additional training to officers on vehicle-stop tactics,” according to its sources."
If Trump and his ilk have gone full Nazi, I assume they plan to sacrifice the bodies in a ritual to summon supernatural forces to aid in their takeover of the US.
I am surviving these nutso times by reading a lot of fantasy, much of which is Seanan McGuire's various series. Since I've made it as far as the InCryptid series goes (until she pops out another one), all I can think of is "not another snake god cult!"
HuffPost Updates: "A day after announcing a 20% “reimbursement” fee on all cargo transiting the Strait of Hormuz, the ever-erratic President Donald Trump has decided to drop it. In lieu of the fee, Trump claimed that “various Gulf States” have decided to make “MASSIVE” trade and investment deals in the United States. Which states? Who knows. What deals? Unclear. When? Maybe someday."
NYT: "At some point during the game, usually before the first hydration break, the television footage will cut to the FIFA president Gianni Infantino. It was a theme of the men’s World Cup in Qatar in 2022, when, as first reported by The Times of London, emails were sent to television crews to ensure that Infantino was shown during the game, with further instructions that Infantino should not be shown on his mobile phone. In this tournament, Infantino sought to attend two World Cup games per day during the group stage by using a private jet provided to him by Qatar Airways, a FIFA sponsor.
FIFA says it would be misleading to say that it has directed specific shots of its president during games in this World Cup. However, there is an agreement between FIFA and HBS (the production house of the World Cup, Host Broadcast Service) to say that there must be a “dignitary shot” in every half of a game in order to showcase the highest-ranking officials present at a game, as well as those described by FIFA in its accreditation system as “VVIPs” (Very, Very Important People). This may include heads of state, confederation officials, celebrities or members of soccer federations."
Ssh, KhamLa is sleeping. Your hed gif source here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/khamla-takes-a-nap
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/1698a65a-d3e0-441c-b3de-012c61ba1575
The Elephant is large
and she has a long trunk
that squirts out water
to wash off the funk
Ta, Martini. Long, long ago I was living in Houston. My friends the leather dykes asked if I'd like to visit the circus after hours with them; they'd made friends. I got to ride one of the elephants! Still one of the peak experiences of my life.
Do elephants run and trumpet in their sleep?
Awww, sleepy baby.
Y’know, if you keep backing the view up further, it becomes clear that it’s actually a piece of walnut, not an elephant. Sorry to spoil your fun, but … there it is.
Alright, that’s my contribution this AM. I am going to go forth and try to be “noble but petty.” Yeah, that’s a good Evan-ism. IMHO.
Good morning people (and elephants).
I want to be snoozing like KhamLa. Instead, I’m on the subway, going to the office.
Elephants shouldn't be allowed to sleep on the subway, especially during peak commuting...
I think elephants, like 800-pound gorillas, sleep wherever they want.
I believe Petula Clark had a song about that. Or maybe it wasn't elephants, I don't know it was a long time ago.
Are you gonna be the one to tell them no? Or to wake them up? Sure, go ahead. We’ll watch. From a safe distance.
It's nice to see her resting
Upon the forest floor
I find that I am asking
Do elephants loudly snore?
They snore like a strumpet
Who's engulfed a brass trumpet
I would like to have elephant nannies watch over me while I sleep. I would not like them to hit me in the face with their tails.
CAMEL!
Obvs, Sir.
Eepy heffalump.
Aw, sweet. I wouldn't mind a nap nestled in their trunk's embrace. Do I need a pillow?
Yeah, but. Stand next to one. Fuck, they are big. I also got to play around with a little five year old boy ele at the sanctuary. Guess how he acted? Like a five year old! His name is Shaka Zulu ❤️. He liked you to put his snacks on his head so he could practice his trunk moves to put them in his mouth 😹
A girl can dream. I've seen them in real life and am in love.💓 I want one of my own, (Okay, the pack can come with them.)
I envy you. Very cool name. He sounds like a darling. Mucho spirit! And heart!
Completely adorable. Yes, a dream come true. His big BIG friend, Sally, you'd want to be careful, though, to not get in her way. They're like moving buildings.
Thanks for the tip!
Speaking of moving buildings, I really, really, badly want to see a blue whale. The true Leviathan.
😹
But when it came down to it, she could've bitten off my arm, but was disinclined!
I'm a sperm whale fan, those big ol' heads are so enchanting.
Awwwwww
Sweet dreams, sweet KhamLa.
Can't really say that I have much sympathy for the residents of Middleburg. Their moneyed set created J.D. Vance, it's only fitting they have to put up with his obnoxious ass. Welcome to the Revolution, assholes.
Oh goody, we are bringing back Satanic Panic and the good ole days of Frank Perretti books where every liberal college professor/yoga teacher/queer person was a demonic front and the good Christian pastors and parents would get falsely accused of unspeakable acts because SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!! But they would get vindicated in the end because angels with swords.
I spent the 90's living in the midst of this ish and it did a number on me. I mean, can you really come to terms with the idea of clinical depression when you're sitting there going through lists of possible sins you might have committed to give demons a foothold in your life? I know to some degree this stuff has never fully gone away, but I hate that it is creeping back to the forefront in many circles.
That Demon Next Door article is genuinely terrifying. Both Mr Radley and I grew up in churches adjacent to charismaticism- in different countries- and we both have had some pretty wild experiences. His mum still 100% believes in demons and she has a Master's degree. All I can say is that charismatic preachers and "prophets" somehow always stick to what they ALREADY thought was evil- it's never hubris, false prophecy (unless there's a rival prophet) or the love of money that they cast out.
Eye opening and jaw dropping...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkvTCZ2omXc
How white supremacists staged the only successful coup in U.S. history
CBS Sunday Morning
That picture isn’t old. It’s fake.
The paper in his hand is the WP sports page dated the 12th, the same day the pic was released. Oh so subtle “proof of life” like a kidnap victim. Complete codswallop.
The photo in the Post is an older one. The Orioles were not wearing that uniform that weekend, it was s homestand and they were wearing their white uniforms. It's possible the Post did not have a decent photo of Blaze Alexander from any of the games from that series and used a file photo instead. The Washington Post has discontinued their Sports section and probably don't routinely grab stuff off the wire, just in case, like they used to do.
I absolutely positively distinctly said, “spot back.” https://substack.com/profile/1687878-1d57a1d5931d/note/c-294496012?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=106di
I'm not as fluent in cat as I should be I guess, but what does "spot back" even mean?
When you get up from a couch while you’re watching a movie, and you’ve got a good seat, and siblings, you say spot back! so they know not to take your spot. Because you have said spot back.
That would make a good thought bubble for that picture, as Alice, idly wonders, “but what does “spot back” even mean?”
Huh. Buddy steals my spot all the time. I didn’t grow up in a normal home, There was my mother’s recliner, and there were dining room chairs. Or the floor. Her chair was as sacrosanct as Archie Bunker’s. Nobody else was allowed to sit in it. Same with the phone. We weren’t allowed to use it unless she was indisposed, and then we were only allowed to answer it and hold it for her.
I am guessing that for a time at least, that seemed normal to you? How old were you when you left? I shot out like a bat out of hell, too young, but it was about surviving. I’m glad those days are behind both of us.
Just to clarify, I am deeply amused by Alice’s shenanigans, and her proud claim of the warm spot when I get up. She occupies it so theatrically.
March of 1967, my mother took a broomstick to me. I disarmed her and walked out the door, never to return. I was 15.
I can generate an unhealthy amount of rage when I hear about, or remember, that kind of bullshit. The only positive thing I can offer in response is what I said before, I’m glad that you’re out of it, that you can sit in any chair you choose, use any phone, eat any food in the refrigerator without asking permission, do your laundry. It’s the little things.
I started to read "The Demon Next Door" and wondered if the church is affiliated with a coffee shop I tried out once (https://www.thewellcoffeehouse.com/new-page) and decided wasn't my thing. Nobody tried to proselytize me, but it wasn't a comfortable place.
Making the rounds of the craft stores for a piece Ms. O was looking for, we were finally forced to check Hobby Lobby. The overt Christianity everywhere in the store is extremely creepy.
And yet practically everything they sell comes from China, not so many years past the one-child policy and still pretty doggone godless, as far as I know.
🎶 It’s just another TACO Tuesday ...
https://apnews.com/article/iran-us-hormuz-strait-war-july-14-2026-abd060c55feea216625689e57d8f76be
" Any network that carries this live is just sucking fascism’s cock eagerly" So, all of them Katie?
Archive link for the Demon Next Door story, if anyone needs it:
https://archive.is/20260710183755/https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/08/charismatic-christian-church-tennessee/687624/
Thank you, but what I'd really like is a one-paragraph precis.
New Apostolic Reformation followers think they're exorcising demons and bringing God's Kingdom closer. They hate a lot of stuff that makes people happy and doesn't hurt people because they think it's demonic to live and let live. They're not totally connected with reality.
Thank you!
These are some of the craziest people there are, living out a delusion.
And, as mentioned in the article, JD Vance is among them.
NYT: "Trump has paid the writer E. Jean Carroll $5.6 million that was owed to her as a result of a jury’s finding that he was liable for sexually assaulting her in a Manhattan department store in the 1990s and then defaming her, federal court records show. The money, which had been held in escrow while Mr. Trump appealed the 2023 jury award, was disbursed to Ms. Carroll last week, according to a note added to the online court docket in the case on Tuesday."
Thought it was supposed to be $5.8M?
Chiseling bastard.
It's the court-held account that accrued the interest. Trump had nothing to say about the amount.
YESSSSS!! Way to go, Ms. Carroll!!!
So they're not even pretending that the victims had aimed their cars at the ICE "agents"anymore?
ICE got orders to ramp up their enforcement by Stephen Miller right before the Goode an Pretti murders. The purpose was to make the protestors too afraid of ICE to object to them.
HuffPost Updates: "Immigration and Customs Enforcement is reportedly telling its agents to pause most vehicle stops, after ICE agents fatally shot two motorists just days apart: Lorenzo Salgado Araujo in Houston, and Joan Sebastian Guerrero in Biddeford, Maine. CBS News reported the change “will remain in place while ICE provides additional training to officers on vehicle-stop tactics,” according to its sources."
Innocent motorists, they forgot to say.
“Additional training” on how not to get caught.
What are they planning to do with the corpses?
If Trump and his ilk have gone full Nazi, I assume they plan to sacrifice the bodies in a ritual to summon supernatural forces to aid in their takeover of the US.
I am surviving these nutso times by reading a lot of fantasy, much of which is Seanan McGuire's various series. Since I've made it as far as the InCryptid series goes (until she pops out another one), all I can think of is "not another snake god cult!"
HuffPost Updates: "A day after announcing a 20% “reimbursement” fee on all cargo transiting the Strait of Hormuz, the ever-erratic President Donald Trump has decided to drop it. In lieu of the fee, Trump claimed that “various Gulf States” have decided to make “MASSIVE” trade and investment deals in the United States. Which states? Who knows. What deals? Unclear. When? Maybe someday."
It's TACO Tuesday.
When reached for comment, Gulf States leaders said "huh?"
Two weeks
NYT: "At some point during the game, usually before the first hydration break, the television footage will cut to the FIFA president Gianni Infantino. It was a theme of the men’s World Cup in Qatar in 2022, when, as first reported by The Times of London, emails were sent to television crews to ensure that Infantino was shown during the game, with further instructions that Infantino should not be shown on his mobile phone. In this tournament, Infantino sought to attend two World Cup games per day during the group stage by using a private jet provided to him by Qatar Airways, a FIFA sponsor.
FIFA says it would be misleading to say that it has directed specific shots of its president during games in this World Cup. However, there is an agreement between FIFA and HBS (the production house of the World Cup, Host Broadcast Service) to say that there must be a “dignitary shot” in every half of a game in order to showcase the highest-ranking officials present at a game, as well as those described by FIFA in its accreditation system as “VVIPs” (Very, Very Important People). This may include heads of state, confederation officials, celebrities or members of soccer federations."
If he's standing, the camera could give a closeup of his butt. That would be showing Infantino, right?