New York Times Says Orkin Man Visited White House, IS JOE BIDEN INFESTED WITH WASPS?
Obviously.
Whatever legitimate concerns exist with Joe Biden and his age and fitness for office, there are those who are asking serious questions, and there are shit-stirring hacks, chaos agents and losers on the internet, and at the New York Times, which arguably started it all with their endlessly ridiculous stories on “Biden is old.” (As of July 5, they had published 192 stories on Hillary Clinton’s Biden’s emails debate performance. As of today, they have published a higher number than that.)
Did this start because the Times takes its journalism seriously, or is it because the Times is a bitchy little twink that’s been mad for months that Biden wouldn’t do an interview with them, which ultimately set the ball rolling to this point? Wellllll.
Anyway, Parkinson’s! Does Joe Biden have it? Because you see, this Parkinson’s doctor went to the White House a humber of times, the New York Times is just saying. Does Joe Biden have Parkinson’s?
Also, the Orkin man went to the White House a bunch of times, does Joe Biden have wasps?
Also the HVAC man went to the White House a bunch of times, is Joe Biden low on Freon?
Also a sexy pizza delivery man went to the White House a bunch of times, is Joe Biden embarking on a secret life of porns?
The story is, um, not much of one. A Parkinson’s expert from Walter Reed, a neurologist named Dr. Kevin Cannard, went to the White House eight times in the past year or so. Once, he met with Joe Biden’s doctor.
“It was unclear whether Dr. Cannard was at the White House to consult specifically about the president or was there for unrelated meetings,” said the newspaper in paragraph three, letting the astute reader know it was OK to flip over and look at recipes, or maybe do the Wordle.
Not only did Dr. Cannard go to the White House a bunch while Biden was president, he went there a bunch while Obama was president, and he might have gone a bunch when Trump was president, but “Mr. Trump rescinded Mr. Obama’s voluntary White House visitors disclosure policy, so records are not available for his four years in office.”
Unfortunately, Dr. Cannard did not respond to the New York Times’s hounding about the nature of his visits in time for publication, so they just went with whatever they had.
Of course, the “no there there” nature of the story didn’t stop members of the White House press corps yesterday from showing their asses during the press briefing, because Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, for privacy reasons, wouldn’t disclose the exact reasons for each and every one of Cannard’s visits. CBS’s Ed O’Keefe was easily the most obnoxious, sitting next to Fox News’s Peter Doocy, who appeared for once to be sitting back and letting somebody else be the trifling asshole.
Jean-Pierre told the reporters the president has seen a neurologist three times during his presidency, every time he has a physical. She told them they have policy against confirming names and details of specialists who come to the White House. At one point she stopped the briefing because they were being so rude, especially Ed O’Keefe.
Jean-Pierre said, in part:
“We understand that freedom of the press, we respect the freedom of the press. You heard me talk about this last week. We — I appreciate the back and forth that we all have. It is, I try to respect you and I hope you try to respect me,” Jean-Pierre said, referring back to a tense exchange she had with CBS News’s Ed O’Keefe.
“And we literally do everything that we can,” Jean-Pierre said. “My team does everything that we can to make sure we get the answers to you. That’s what we do. And sometimes we disagree. Sometimes we are not in agreement. But you know what? That’s democracy. That is what is important to have that healthy back and forth. And so to say that I’m holding information or allude to anything else is really, really unfair. I think people who are watching and have been watching this briefing for this past week could say that we are doing our best in this briefing to provide the information that we have, and I will admit, I will be the first one to admit, sometimes I get it wrong. At least I admit that. At least I admit that. And sometimes I don’t have the information. And I will always, always admit that. But I do take offense to what was just happening at the beginning of this briefing. It’s not okay. Go ahead.”
The New York Times has now updated its story to reflect that last night at 9:40 p.m., Dr. Kevin O’Connor, the White House physician, broke protocol — with Biden’s and Cannard’s blessing — to release a statement saying that Dr. Cannard has seen Joe Biden three times, during his normal physicals, but — and here’s where NYT gets conspiratorial again — “did not directly say whether any of his other visits were related to consulting on the president’s health.” They continued:
Instead, Dr. O’Connor implied that most of Dr. Cannard’s visits were related to treating other people who work at the White House. “Prior to the pandemic, and following its end, he has held regular neurology clinics at the White House Medical Clinic in support of the thousands of active-duty members assigned in support of White House operations,” Dr. O’Connor wrote.
Oh. (During at least one of them, Joe Biden wasn’t at the White House at all. He was in Lake Tahoe, at Tom Steyer’s house. Somebody could have checked the dates and cross-referenced them, you’d think.)
The Times explains that according to the results of Biden’s most recent physical, there are no signs of Parkinson’s, stroke or other neurological issues. The Times also explains many more words, because serious journalists write long articles, with lots of details.
As of this printing of Wonkette, the Parkinson’s story is nowhere to be found on the front page of the New York Times.
We’d say it’s maybe because it’s not polite to jerk off in the front yard right where everyone can see, but that’s never stopped the Times before.
[New York Times / Mediaite / Videos via Acyn]
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I really needed to find some humor in the insane hype going on rn, thank you Evan!
Ta, Evan. Every Democrat and every D-leaning Independent voter in this country has one job: Vote Biden-Harris and a straight Democratic ticket down the ballot. There's more to do: send postcards, knock on doors, etc. but the most important thing we can do is VOTE.