Nice Time! Republicans Lose Supreme Court Seat In Wisconsin, Feel Double-Digit Pain In Georgia
Eagle screech!
Oh, hello there! Not only was there no mass genocide in Iran last night, there were two special elections in Georgia and Wisconsin which turned out to be most special indeed, with Republicans under-performing by more than 20 points in both! Whee!
First to the land of lakes dells, where liberal lady state Appeals Court Judge Chris Taylor won a seat for a 10-year term on the state supreme court by 20 points, giving progressives an even cozier 5-2 share on the highest court there.
Throw back our heads and laugh gif! No, spit out coffee gif! FUCK IT, full shirtless Speed the streamer!
It’s the Democrats’ biggest win there since the ‘70s. Oh shit, now we’re wheezing and need a paper bag. Ten-year term! Okay.
This win is important to so much! Keeping voting rights secure and avoiding MAGA gerrystealing, both nationally significant with Wisconsin’s swing-state status. Plus all the state-level issues: abortion, the environment, education, Tesla dealerships and Musk’s various lawsuits there (hehe lizard gif), or however many times and ways Donald Trump and Republicans need to be told in legal language to go shove their overreaching brats back on their own grill, as necessary.
Remember last April, when Elon Musk pumped $11 million Muskbux into trying to defeat the progressive-backed judge Susan Crawford and win the seat for MAGA loyalist/former state AG/rape-victim-blamer and rapist wet-noodle-slapper Brad Schimel, who proceeded to lose loseringly by 10 points? LOL. Conservatives lost control of the court in 2023, and in 2025 had the chance to snatch it back.
The spending race to control the court turned it into the most expensive judicial contest in US history, topping $144 million. This one was much cheaper, in spite of the GOP still having bottomless access to conservative bucks. Taylor spent about $3.3 million, and her challenger, conservative state Appeals Court Judge Maria Lazar, spent about $255,000. Low energy, sad.
What a difference a year (of hopeless losing) makes! For the 2025 race, Musk even jetted to Wisconsin and put on a giant foam Cheesehead to hand out a couple of oversized $1 million checks and moan that “the entire destiny of humanity” would be shaped by the outcome of that state supreme court race. And look at us now, over here still all being alive and shit!
For fun, let’s also flash back to last year and how Schimel went all-in MAGA with both kneepads, growing a goatee and buzzing his hair like an aging colonel, sporting a wardrobe of fleece vests, lamenting that the Wisconsin supreme court “screwed” Trump over when it did not let him steal the 2020 election, promising his canvassers that he would serve as Donald Trump’s “support network,” attending Trump’s ‘25 inauguration to tongue his taint, and you betcha Brad had no problem with Trump pardoning January 6 rioters or campaigning by slipping in as many “women too emotionals” as he could to anybody who would listen. The full package!
Musk’s PACs flooded the zone so hard that they even spent thousands on an ad with a freaky floating photo of the head of the wrong Susan Crawford.
Good times! Even better, Schimel’s loss also turned out to be Musk’s final straw with Trump. According to Steve Bannon (evidently back to re-stink up the Oval Office, or at the least still close in its loop), it was tolerable that Elmo was exhaustingly emotionally clingy and on a suitcase full of drugs, and even that he tackled Scott Bessent “like a rugby player” in a rage. But once it was undeniable that even attempting to bribe voters with his Musk billions couldn’t win races, there was no more reason to keep him and his booger-eating DOGE lackeys and son so close.
And then Pam Bondi (bon voyage!) installed Brad as Interim United States Attorney for the Eastern District of Wisconsin, he ran out his 120-day term last month and refused to leave until a judge told him to GTFO, so Bondi then named him first assistant US attorney in Milwaukee and decreed that he’ll continue overseeing operations under that title. Because they refuse to take NO THANK YOU for an answer, this regime! The art of the deal is they make, everybody else is gonna take!
And NO THANK YOU voters did say, again.
Georgia!
Now down to the red clay of Georgia.
Clay Fuller, that is! The Dickensian-named Republican DA for the local Lookout Mountain-circuit won Marjorie Taylor Greene’s old House seat for Georgia’s 14th district. Won, yes, but by 12 points, in the district Greene won by 29 points and Trump carried by almost 37 points two years ago!
OMG JFC you guys, look at his picture.
Why do they always make themselves look so terrible? You can see from his campaign page he has an incredible bone structure, and like, shave and a decent haircut, he could practically be a model for the Air Mall catalog.
But MAGA is all about what a look signals and signifies, very post-structural, which means chad-meme style for men, and Mar-a-Lago face installation for any lady by her 29th birthday. Speaking of signs and the looks and the pictures that give their game away, hey, seems it did not help with voters that No New Wars Trump was threatening genocidal war crimes all day long.
You cayunt give war crime, AGREE!
And, of course, as always, Trump has been blithely ignoring The Affordability, though his advisors have been regularly begging him to address it with tears in their eyes.
Look at these maps!
Seems Trump’s base does have a limit somewhere, including 20-25 percent of the voters who stomp the redder clay of GA. Who knew?
John Thune tried to warn him. But some people have to get burnt by the fire before they cease, and sometimes many, many times.
Oh well! Sure hope Democrats make the best hay and cheese of all of this they can! Because while Clay Fuller won, if he or any other Republicans in the Congress have any horse sense, they’ll rub both of their brain cells together real hard before letting themselves keep on being a rubber stamp for Trump’s agenda. Marjorie Taylor Greene has been seeding the soil around Georgia with spite-wokeness, and seems the Walmart checkout lines are alive with mutters of defection.
What a shame.
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Ahem, correction please! Wisconsin is NOT the "land of lakes." Wisconsin is the "land of cheese" and "land of stay off the roads Friday nights." Minnesota is the Land o' Lakes. A full retraction and apology is hereby demanded, and the Authorities will investigate Wonkette for this absolute fabrication!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter!
OT, but I just saw a pundit saying it wasn’t really useful for Democrats to try impeachment when they will fail, and all the “duly elected “ stuff…but here when even minor public officials have a criminal charge or something, there’s HUGE outrage until they get ousted. No “well, that’s the people’s choice!” Not even “let’s see how the charges play out!”
No—people want them out.