Nikki Haley Saw Babies In The Freezer, And One Of The Babies Looked At Her

This is definitely the message that'll turn things around for her campaign.

Perhaps goosed by the news that she’s trailing Trump by 23 points in her home state of South Carolina ahead of this Saturday’s Republican primary, Nikki Haley went on lamestream NBC to tell Ali Vitali that she agrees with the Alabama Supreme Court that IVF embryos are children. Also that either Major Michael Haley’s sperm and/or her eggs couldn’t get up to the task for baby number two on their own, because a scientist had to do it. Too bad her husband didn’t have one of those Tucker Carlson ball tanners!

Sputtered Nicki with a very concerned expression, “I mean, I think embryos, to me, are babies. I had artificial insemination, that’s how I had my son. To me it’s one thing to save sperm or save eggs,” she moralized, making a milking-and-dropping motion, as if she were squeezing a splash of dad and putting an imaginary egg of mom in a separate basket. “But when you’re talking about an embryo … to me, you're talking about a life. And so I do see where that’s coming from, when they talk about that.”

Really though? What we’re talking about aren’t even technically embryos, even though courts and IVF clinics call them that. They are a five-day old group of 2-10 cells, which makes them blastocysts, tops. But they do have mommy and daddy DNA, which means God already knows them and is following them on His Instagram. 

What are also “children” are literal children, like the 3,700 children South Carolina has in foster care, but never mind.

Pressed by Vitali if she had concerns about how Alabama’s batshit decision might hurt people who are seeking IVF treatment, Nikki’s brow furrowed deeper,

“I think we need to have those conversations. That’s incredibly personal, and incredibly sensitive, and I think that’s the conversation that a doctor needs to have with a patient.” 

As it happened, at the very same time Nikki was being interviewed, the University of Alabama at Birmingham had put all IVF treatments on pause, and their doctors were presumably having those exact sensitive, personal conversations with their patients. Ones like “if you ever want your freezer child, probably you should FedEx it to another state. And then mail yourself there too, because nobody down here is going to risk getting the chair from Judge QAnon if you miscarry that thing. P.S., sorry to dash your dreams.”

Speaking of dashed dreams, opposing IVF is very politically unpopular. Kellyanne Conway’s own polling company found overwhelming support for it, even among people who identify as pro-life and evangelical, with 86 percent of all respondents supporting access to IVF, 78 percent support among self-identified “pro-life advocates,” and 83 percent among “evangelical Christians.” Even Donald Trump sure as shit isn’t dumb enough to go down that road.

Just a few months ago Haley was trying to play moderate-ish, like “I don’t judge anyone for being pro-choice, and I don’t want them to judge me for being pro-life.” But now maybe you can judge her a little, since the judge she is co-signing is Supreme Court Chief Justice Tom Parker, a Christian Nationalist who celebrated yesterday’s decision by going directly onto a QAnon loon’s local talk show to promote the “Seven Mountain Mandate,” a theological approach that calls on Christians to impose fundamentalist values on all aspects of American life.

Grabbing that hot potato with both hands was perhaps politically not a good move, but as her campaign slogan goes, “I’m just hanging out here in case Trump drops dead.”

[Washington Post]