109 Comments

Looks like a pack of smokes to me, and I would sooner defend that than defend the Duggars.

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Hell, a herd of Winnebagos, we're givin' 'em away.

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In that case, it's probably bacon-wrapped fat.

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So grosse???

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Yes, also, too as serial ex-smoker i pick up all sorts of oblong boxes and fiddle with them as if they were cigs, same with cylindrical objects similar to cigarettes.

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"smoke cigarettes with Billy Joel in 2013". Sure. Cigarettes, Sure, that's the ticket. Cigarettes.

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The part sticking up from his right hand is clearly square-ish, which to me suggests gum, not cigarette.

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But real tobacco products are never marketed towards kids...

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I never realized there was such a taxonomy for cigarettes. I wish I'd spent more time in Wonkette and less in college...

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Gramps, college is where I learned all this. You just have to get out of the college bars and hang out in the pool halls, bowling alleys, and live music clubs where the Townies hang. Oh, and Drag Queens tend to smoke Capri.

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Capris??? I never knew...

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Gross. Indoor smoking makes everything smell like smoking. I smoke cigarettes because I'm addicted to them, not because they smell great.

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Those are smoke by the hip, slick, and cool White kids. Newports for the hip, slick, and cool Black kids. Marlboroughs for Cowboys, Virginia Slims or Gitanes for women. Marlborough Lite 100s for Cowgirls.Shermans for out gay men.

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This essay is so funny and so excellent there are no comments worthy.

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He found where Eric Cantor hid the box in which John Boehner's testicles are contained.

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Jesus? But not liquids because, duh, them holes are porous.

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