302 Comments
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lovelydestruction's avatar

I know, on Twitter there is quite a bit of, "why is Russia suddenly the enemy?"Wha?

Beanz&Berryz's avatar

Age doesn't matter if they're not white American girls

L. Ron Pony  πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦'s avatar

Just as long as nopony asks about my ex and I owning that Lada back in 1979...

DutchS's avatar

If Anna Chapman is my handler, count me in, comrade.

goCatgo's avatar

Strange. That's what I heard too!

Dr. Rags's avatar

I will add for posterity that Colbert stole my joke last night.

AngryKatie's avatar

I've been unwilling to hike down and see. The smell when you get close is like a physical barrier.

Jukesgrrl's avatar

I think "Operation Orange Hands Much Tinier Than Giant Russian Bear Paws Of Vladimir Putin" sounds about right. So I ran it through the Google translator just to see what it looks like in Russian: ΠžΠΏΠ΅Ρ€Π°Ρ†ΠΈΡ ΠžΡ€Π°Π½ΠΆΠ΅Π²Ρ‹Π΅ Π ΡƒΠΊΠΈ Много ΠΌΠ΅Π»ΡŒΡ‡Π΅, Ρ‡Π΅ΠΌ Giant русский мСдвСдь Π»Π°ΠΏΠ°ΠΌΠΈ Π’Π»Π°Π΄ΠΈΠΌΠΈΡ€Π° ΠŸΡƒΡ‚ΠΈΠ½Π° (or in our alphabetski "Operatsiya Oranzhevyye Ruki Mnogo mel'che, chem Giant russkiy medved' lapami Vladimira Putina," So I'm to take it that they don't have a word for "giant"? (Maybe everything's big in Russia.) Also, Vladimira Putina is a GIRL? Now, there's a news scoop for ya, Evan.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Vladimir Putin recorded on a bus talking to Pravda news anchor: "Whoa, whoa, I gotta use some Mentos, just in case I actually meet Trump again. You know I'm automatically drawn to suckers and climbers like him, I just start exploiting them. It's like a magnet. Just flatter them, tell them they're brilliant. I don't even wait. And when you're a powerful Russian oligarch like me, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the balls. You can do anything. Even tip an election."

Jukesgrrl's avatar

I'm gonna go with: If It's Happening, He Isn't Smart Enough to Know It.

AJ Milne's avatar

... I found the palpably solid thump it made on impact particularly disturbing.

Last Hussar's avatar

Ridiculous article.

Does anybody actually believe spotlight-whore Donny could stop himself from boasting about it, making oh-so-clever oblique references that he thinks are cleverly coded, but actually as obvious as the murderer on CSI? (In the first 15 minutes there will be a bit part on screen who adds nothing to the initial investigation. Its him. Actors are expensive, you don't hire them for no reason).

All you have to do is be nice to him (Is that a Billion dollars in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me? Its so big.), and he'll roll over and have his tummy tickled.

Crystalclear12's avatar

Think of the poor agents that had to "compromise" him!!!

Slavakitty's avatar

In Smiley's People, they called it a honey trap. And with all the rumors about him and Jeffrey Epstein hiring people to recruit underage girls for parties in NY with promises to launch their modeling careers, it's not hard to understand where they got the idea. And he would certainly be gullible enough to fall for it, expecting them to cover it up until it was too late. Seems quite plausible, in fact.

Last Hussar's avatar

What he/she^ said. Right wing dictatorship who can be sold stuff.