23 Comments
User's avatar
Spurning Beer's avatar

He was egged on by his Greek twin sister, Minnie Apolos.

fuflans's avatar

HAHAHAHAAHHA ANGLICAN!!!

Lefty Mark's avatar

I think that his predecessor was busy excommunicating old Hanky-Panky.

Lefty Mark's avatar

The Pope has to answer to God. Bill Donohue answers to no one.

Lefty Mark's avatar

I attended Catholic schools for 10 years, and in all that time no one ever had any problem with my southpaw lifestyle. But then, the nuns who taught me during that era (from the late 50s through the 1960s) were all about as right-wing as Michael Moore.

bobbert's avatar

So, I was going to remark about how on-point your (probably non-existent) comment was, and then you follow with this.

I'm overwhelmed by the Pensacola NIce.

bobbert's avatar

I promised to raise my kids Catholic, and I sort of did for a couple of years after my wife died. If the Catholics are right, I may be in some trouble.

On the other hand, because my older son was baptized Catholic, he didn't have to go through any special bullshit to marry his (not-particularly-observant) Catholic wife in St Joseph's Basilica in San Jose, so thus far my lie seems to be a net plus.

bobbert's avatar

Seriously, considering the advantages of a lefty pitcher OR batter (step and a half closer to first), why did they do this shit?

bobbert's avatar

Also, Limbo. Which now never existed.

Spurning Beer's avatar

"The Pensacola Nice" is going to be the name of my death-metal band. Someday.

BarackMyWorld's avatar

"Stupid rules...stupid rules everywhere." -Buzz Lightyear

Spurning Beer's avatar

For what it's worth, here's my historical gloss on the subject:

The Roman Catholic Church got into a muddle here because they made marriage a Fucking Sacrament, which apparently had to mean it was eternal, and if you married a douchebag or a batterer, you were married to them for all of heavenly -- or more likely, hellish -- eternity as well. Sort of like how you can't un-baptize someone, I guess.

Now a plausible reason for why they did this is that in the early centuries of the Christian era, celibacy and monasticism were growing in popularity like nobody's business. In some places especially, like Ireland and north Africa, sex-avoidance was especially rampant, and probably culture-related. All the smartest and hippest people were going into monasteries and convents. Without a little backpedaling by the Church from the "chastity is cool" biblical message (thanks for that, Saint Paul!), most of the Roman Empire was threatened with population decline, and severe pornography shortages.

In the meanwhile, the best way Rome has come up with to cope with this impossible mess is to issue annulments that pretend that the loopholes are legit, and that guy with five children by his wife of ten years was never REALLY married in the eyes of the one true God, and the guy's donations to the parish are not relevant in the slightest, so shut up already.

Incoming Ham's avatar

Perhaps Pope Awesome (still with some reservations) has noted that if you change one stupid law of the church you may double your attendance.

Smarter than the average pope is this pope.

chascates's avatar

Wait till he calls Newt Gingrich.

Msgr MΩment classic ☑️'s avatar

Actually, I thought it was Jebus with the howler about the divorced person committing adultery. Which would make New Pope Jebuser than Jebus.