No, Scott Walker, You Cannot Write For Wonkette

Deer Wonket, can I rite 4 u?

Oh gosh and golly and gee whiz, are we so flattered! Look who isobviouslytrying out to be a words-blogger for this here mommyblog recipe hub with dick jokes, Yr Wonkette!

We certainlydolike the use of "lady patriots." It sounds very much like a thing what we would write! Like the time we wrote about Lady-Americans who are saving so much money on their slut pills. Or when we wrote about Rand Paul being a dick to a lady reporter. Or when we LOL'd at that lady lawmaker in California who said abortions caused the state's drought. Or how we LOL'd even more harder at Carly Fiorina claiming she will be the best lady president EVAH!

The finely nuanced difference, though, is that we are doing it for sarcasm and #jokes, and sometimes even to make pointed political commentary observations about chicks and stuff, whereas you, Scott Walker, are just a "lame" dumb assholewho is not going to be president. And not only because of how you are A Illiterate Moran, like, all of the times, and you are real not good at words:

It is also, Scott Walker, because of how you are bad at the thinking too, and the not-thinking and the history-knowing , and also extra-because of how your politics suck even more worser than how you do words bad. Plus, in addition, we are a far-left commie fascist interweb netsite blog thingy, where we write all the love sayings about abortion and communism and socialism and science and college and government-funded free stuff, and we happen to think you are a ginormous A Idiot, like we say on a regular basis. So we do not think you'd fit in here, since we don't like you at all, and we'd hate to not be able to use this video of you over and over and over again, forever.

We dolike lady patriots, though, and plan to steal it. So thanks for that.

[h/t @JessieOpie ]