Nobel Laureate Resigns, Just for Saying Girl Scientists Can't Stop Getting Lady Boners In Lab

Science is tough, especially for scientist dudes who are just trying to do important experiments but are always getting distracted by all the lady scientists in the lab, breaking down in tears every five seconds, when they're not falling madly in love with that scientific man brilliance. That used to be a big problem for Nobel Laureate biochemist Tim Hunt, who resigned his position as an honorary professor at University College London for saying this , about lady scientists, at the World Conference of Science Journalists:

“Let me tell you about my trouble with girls … three things happen when they are in the lab … You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you and when you criticise them, they cry.”

But he's not being a chauvinist! Hunt is saying that he always falls in love with the lady scientists too! And then before you know it, ALL THE SCIENTISTS are crying into their lady boners, when they SHOULD be doing experiments.

Hunt says there should be labs for boys and labs for girls, we assume so that the boys can build rockets and cure AIDS, and girls can pull their beakers out of their Kaboodles to find new recipes for make-up. And hell, do they even NEED a lab for that? Why don't we just give the lady scientists some granite countertops, an Easy-Bake Oven and a buncha glitter and call it a day?

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The New York Times reproduced tweets from Sophie Scott and Kate Devlin, two lady scientists on the faculty at University College London, who seem to confirm Hunt's hypotheses about ladies in the lab:

See? Crying into their lady boners, right there.

Of course, Hunt's advice runs directly counter to that of science columnist lady Alice Huang, who knows the best way for lady scientists to get ahead is to let them menfolk stare right down their lab coats, at their sumptuous knockers. Clearly, Huang is part of the problem and why dude scientists like Hunt cannot get ANY WORK DONE AROUND HERE.

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Hunt told BBC Radio that he is "really, really sorry" if people were offended by his words, because you know ladies, always getting offended over the littlest thing, CASE IN POINT. Besides, he was just funning around, telling the BBC that what was "intended as a light-hearted, ironic comment" has all of a sudden turned into some super serious thing. And now, he's had to resign. Dude scientists sure do have it tough!

[ The Guardian / New York Times ]