Nobody Get Gonorrhea, Okay? Tabs, Fri., April 4, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Big swaths of the country hiding from tornadoes right now, including Evan in Memphis. Be safe everybody! (Fox 13 Memphis) “Historic” flooding doesn’t count if climate change makes it “historic” every time. (CNN) Sure would be nice if Trump hadn’t double-decimated the National Weather Service and NOAA two weeks ago. (CBS News)

Trump doesn’t have a tariff policy, he has mob boss “beg me (or pay me) for an exemption and I’ll let you have a taste.” (The American Prospect)

Elon “stepping back” from his “advisor” job is probably some bullshit. (Talking Points Memo)

And speaking of Elon, he brought us a present! “The Expert Who Kept Eye Drops From Blinding You Was Fired Yesterday.” (Vanity Fair) And another that keeps on giving. Nobody get gonorrhea okay? (CBS News)

Layoffs in March near record-high. Sorry, but this is Good Actually. Joe Biden-styley full employment makes corporations :( (Linked In)

Cassidy Steele Dale is futurizing for you again. I feel like he’s a little too optimistic, but I always enjoy the ride. (Think Future)

Trump loves attacking the Constitution, and there’s nothing he wants more than a third term. He very much means it. (Noah Berlatsky at Public Notice)

Did Laura Loomer purge the National Security Council? Oh, okay. (Axios)

GOOD. Tufts University is demanding its student Rumeysa Ozturk back. (Boston Herald)

Appeals court says Trump pardons didn’t cover January 6ers’ unrelated crimes, like their houses full of grenades and some child sex abuse material (because of course) and whatnot. How is that even fair? (Politico)

Prosecutors won’t prosecute the man who assaulted Rep. Nancy Mace with a handshake, at long last is there no decency sir? (Daily Beast)

Seems like Texas Gov. Greg Abbott might just decide not to have an election to fill the late Rep. Sylvester Turner’s seat. (NBC News)

Does a child you love have a disability? Here’s what the Education Department does, or did. (NPR)

And one of your compadres sends you this beautiful story: the Apache girls’ coming of age “Sunrise Dance.” Behold! (NPR)

---

---

Thank you for being our friend and keeping us living forever! The button below will let you donate one time or monthly, in any amount of your choosing.

This is the button for giving us money with Venmo. It’s venmorrific!