489 Comments
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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Heh-heh-heh... 69. But like seriously, that's how old Fatou (hed gif gorilla) is this year. https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/fatou-celebrates-69

And here is your hed gif: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/72c5c87d-ac3f-4858-b59f-59ac91d22053

weejee's avatar

69? Still a kid to this geezer.

Antifa Commander's avatar

Lookin’ good at 69, Fatou!

Parakeetist's avatar

Happity Birfdee, Mr. Go-Rilla!

Eat well!

🧁

Menotsure's avatar

Trying to rhyme with sixty nine

Has me walk a real fine line

I don't want to cast aspersions

On Fatou's old age diversions

Glad to see her fat and merry and

Thriving as an ape sextarian

Stanta Knows's avatar

"Merry and"

"sextarian"

Stunning

Nancy Naive's avatar

Still can’t count to 70 without cracking a smile.

Miss Grundy's avatar

Don't mess with Madame Fatou! She can be a crotchety old bint!

PrimerGray's avatar

Misplaced non-comment goes here.

dave in texas's avatar

The only difference between Fatou and me in salad-eating technique is that I'm shoveling it in with a fork. It's the same lettuce-hanging-out-the-mouth thing, though.

good_duck's avatar

I don't want her.

You can have her.

She's Fatou for me.

tehbaddr's avatar

Here's to Fatou!

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Mmmmmmm…salad.

wobbly's avatar

Rabbit food!

Pope Jen is Weak on Crème!'s avatar

69 is Divine!

The Wanderer's avatar

Heh, heh, heh . . .

Pope Jen is Weak on Crème!'s avatar

The first time I saw that movie, I mean I had been cackling all along, but when she started yelling that out I just lost it

The Wanderer's avatar

That scene was hilarious.

Linda1961 is proudly woke's avatar

Happy birthday Fatou!

Brian McCurdy's avatar

I will say I'm much more interested in what Tori Amos thinks (and sings and plays) than what Patricia Heaton thinks.

kmblue187's avatar

Fatou: "I hate this diet!"

kmblue187's avatar

What did anyone expect when Hegseth's experience in managing defense is non-existent? But he did work for Fox, so Trump expects he'll man up. Both of them are useless.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

What I always loved about Mrs Raymond was how she claimed abortion was violence against women, and then she had so much plastic surgery that you could Frankenstein up a second Patricia Heaton if such a thing was necessary (spoiler: it isn’t).

ritingon's avatar

god I hope this album is good. I haven't really loved one for far too long now (read: Scarlett's Walk). Abnormally Attracted to Sin was good, just not great.

Brian McCurdy's avatar

I agree. There are always some gems sprinkled throughout her albums but "Scarlet" for me was the last of her initial hot streak.

Shallow state's avatar

Now I'm interested in Patricia Heaton's counsel to friends on the right when Josh Shapiro's home was torched; when Paul Pelosi was beaten with a hammer; when Melissa and Mark Hortman were murdered and John and Yvette Hoffman were shot by a man with a list of 25 other targets; when Donald Trump was raging for Obama's birth certificate; and when tourists erected a gallows at The Capitol and the president suggested they had good cause to use it for the vice president. You know. To see how convincingly she asked them to go on with gratitude.

SunMoonStars's avatar

JFC Tony comparing yourself to Cronkite and his era is dumbfounding. That's when journalism had credibility and respect. News filled with truth and facts. This shit today is infotainment lacking in truthful info. Stop pretending you're not a magat. I hope you and Weiss take CBS down and that follows you for life. Katy you may want to rethink your choices.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Texas Tech gonna ban the gay stuff out of all undergraduate course work?

Whoa! I am almost tempted to relocate to Lubbock TX and audit the Introduction to Literature classes to check out how the professor handles the whole Achilles/Patroclus/Briseis love triangle. That professor is gonna hate it every time I raise my hand.

But don't worry Professor Whoever You Are; I am only "almost tempted" to move to Lubbock. One look at the Lubbock TX city homepage is all I need to realize LUBBOCK SUCKS. I simply am too spoiled a big city boy to consider moving to someplace so completely flat, dry and baptist as Lubbock.

eppe's avatar

Did Peggy Sue leave Lubbock once she realized that Buddy was never coming back?

Corvid Opera's avatar

All hail The King of Hollywood Blvd! Dude had me crying (tears of laughter, for once) into my coffee!

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Ever been to LubbocKKK TX?

All you gotta do is pass through, cruise the parking lot at one of the SIX Walmarts and check out the bumper stickers you will find there.

Everyone who says "you cannot judge a book by it's cover" has never been to Lubbock TX.

You don't even need to stay overnight at one of the many motels and talk to the friendly office/lobby staff to get a handle on Lubbock. All you need is to re watch *No Country For Old Men*

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TJpd6K3Vm3E

eppe's avatar
25mEdited

If it had to rebrand as Texas Dreck there would still be a lineup of MAGA wannabes clamoring to get in.

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

Apocalypse Slop Buckets, Higher Ed Flavor

Craig Nixon's avatar

From Evan's TAB today:

Cailyn Green, a junior studying human development, told the Texas Tribune that the university’s decision prohibits students from accessing “an honest education.”

Jen Shelton, an associate professor of English at Texas Tech, called the memo a “betrayal.”

https://www.advocate.com/news/texas-tech-lgbtq-topics-ban

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

It’s a total betrayal, and a sign of how constitutionally lapsed Tx has become after thirty years of unopposed pro-rapist testosterone.

Craig Nixon's avatar

𝑢𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑜-𝑟𝑎𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑒.

Yeah, that sums it up perfectly.

455 Rocket Cat's avatar

They are so horny for ritualized Handmaid’s Tale rape using Elmo sperm

Birb-General of the US's avatar

More of this bullshit with my tax dollars.

𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽 𝗮𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝘆 𝟮 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗨𝗦 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀

https://wtop.com/business-finance/2026/04/trump-administration-to-pay-2-more-companies-to-walk-away-from-us-offshore-wind-leases/

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

What is he going to do to make TX get rid of all it's wind farms?

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

These deals aren't working out quite right for ol' dipshit. There's more to this, I think.

Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

And dooms our country to go down with the oil tanker.

Craig Nixon's avatar

Somehow, this got by me, from 5 days ago.

𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬, 𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟖𝟏

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑐 𝑑𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑆𝑎𝑛 𝐹𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑜 𝑆𝑦𝑚𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.

Michael Tilson Thomas, an American conductor who grew up in public from an imperious wunderkind into one of the grand old men of classical music, died April 22 at his home in San Francisco. He was 81.

Mr. Tilson Thomas was best known for his long tenure as the music director of the San Francisco Symphony, where he served from 1995 to 2020. He was also the founder and music director of the New World Symphony, a youth orchestra in Miami Beach created in 1987, whose best performances were on a level with the finest professional ensembles.

He was widely considered one of the most distinguished American conductors of his generation. In addition to making more than 100 recordings of both rare and familiar classical repertory, he created valuable instructional series for television and radio.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/obituaries/2026/04/23/michael-tilson-thomas-dead-conductor/

Ellie still in the mix in 26's avatar

Yes, he will be missed. I fondly remember the time he was with us in Buffalo.

Craig Nixon's avatar

When i was a little kid, he was the hottest, new thing.

He was always open to new music, like conducting a session with John McLaughlin's Mahavishnu Orchestra: https://www.discogs.com/master/72293-Mahavishnu-Orchestra-With-The-London-Symphony-Orchestra-Michael-Tilson-Thomas-Apocalypse

Spotts1701's avatar

Huh, the United Arab Emirates just announced they were leaving OPEC. They're the third-largest oil producer in the Middle East (Saudi Arabia is first, then Iraq).

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

"The people who always say it's "too soon" to politicize a school shooting started politicizing the hell out of this shooting about a minute after it happened."

https://bsky.app/profile/stevemnomoremister.bsky.social/post/3mki4h2wmns2a

TerseNurse's avatar

sometimes sooner

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

“A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again."

~ Donald Judas Trump

https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mkiljai24523

Alpaca Suitcase's avatar

Reporters should keep Michael Mora's handy list of Trump insults with them at all times, and just say "you mean when democrats said this" and read one.

https://substack.com/@alpacasuitcase/note/c-250437522?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=3ix9l

Rosy red ASS's avatar

FUCK OFF KKKAROLINE. I thought she was going on maternity leave. (not that her replacement will be any better)