It's that time of year again, Wonketeers! We're gathering nominations for our coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year award. Competition for 2014 honors in both national and state divisions has been fierce and we want to be sure we don't overlook any worthy nominees, particularly among those who ply their trade in the state capitol buildings across our great nation.
As a Floridan, I second ViveLaRes' up-thread nomination of this entire state; one cannot swing a dead yeast-spore without hitting two or three shitmuffins upside their tiny, vacuous heads. We plant our Major League shitmuffs in Washington, cultivate our "farm team" shitcakes in Tallahassee, and grow our own organic, locally-produced, Little League shitcookies in various county commissions and city councils throughout the state.
Sadly, our 52% registered Democrat majority excels only in two areas; staying home on election day, and the awkward mixing of sportsball, agricultural, and baking-related metaphors.
For a non-legislative year, Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore was quite busy - she showed solidarity with tax cheat Cliven Bundy, then got into a <a href="http:\/\/talkingpointsmemo.com\/livewire\/chris-hayes-michelle-fiore-nevada-assemblywoman-cliven-bundy-ranch" target="_blank">tussle with Chris Hayes</a> in which she said &quot;Don&#039;t come here with guns and expect the American people not to fire back.&quot;
After she won re-election handily, she was named Majority Leader by soon-to-be-ousted Ira &quot;I&#039;m not a racist, I just write racist things&quot; Hansen, and then tried to <a href="http:\/\/www.ralstonreports.com\/blog\/fiore-crashes-adelsons-office-then-tells-caucus-she-speaks-him-which-he-denies" target="_blank">rig the re-vote to replace Hansen by claiming to speak for prominent donor Sheldon Adelson</a>. Her own position as chair of taxation was lost when the Republican caucus was reminded she owes over a <a href="http:\/\/www.ralstonreports.com\/blog\/fiore-has-had-seven-figures-liens-filed-against-her" target="_blank">million smackers to the IRS</a>. Fiore, with a straight face, claimed she was a victim of a <a href="http:\/\/crooksandliars.com\/2014\/12\/nevadas-female-tax-cheat-claims-theres-war" target="_blank">&quot;War on women&quot;</a>, was given the job back the next morning, then lost both it and her Majority leader position a week later by claiming she was the victim of a conspiracy among <a href="http:\/\/www.fox5vegas.com\/story\/27661688\/fiore-again-ousted-from-gop-assembly-leadership" target="_blank">the Speaker&#039;s campaign manager and one of the Republican Party&#039;s largest donors.</a>
I know this is typically outside of the purview of Yr Wonkette, but may I humbly suggest a 2014 Canadian Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year? May I also humbly suggest that giving it to anyone other than Rob Ford would be a laughable miscarriage of justice?
Thanks, and obligatory Kanuck &quot;Sorry&quot;
The New York State Legislature (in particular, the State Senate) deserves mention for its circular-firing-squad style of collegiality and its Baroque level of dysfunction. (Granted, it still seems to get the job done,* for some unknown reason, but at great expense.&dagger;)
* Cats actually <i>can</i> be herded sometimes. Who knew? &dagger; Hey, it costs money to produce a drama show.
As a Floridan, I second ViveLaRes&#039; up-thread nomination of this entire state; one cannot swing a dead yeast-spore without hitting two or three shitmuffins upside their tiny, vacuous heads. We plant our Major League shitmuffs in Washington, cultivate our &quot;farm team&quot; shitcakes in Tallahassee, and grow our own organic, locally-produced, Little League shitcookies in various county commissions and city councils throughout the state.
Sadly, our 52% registered Democrat majority excels only in two areas; staying home on election day, and the awkward mixing of sportsball, agricultural, and baking-related metaphors.
Fucking <i>sigh</i>...
For a non-legislative year, Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore was quite busy - she showed solidarity with tax cheat Cliven Bundy, then got into a <a href="http:\/\/talkingpointsmemo.com\/livewire\/chris-hayes-michelle-fiore-nevada-assemblywoman-cliven-bundy-ranch" target="_blank">tussle with Chris Hayes</a> in which she said &quot;Don&#039;t come here with guns and expect the American people not to fire back.&quot;
After she won re-election handily, she was named Majority Leader by soon-to-be-ousted Ira &quot;I&#039;m not a racist, I just write racist things&quot; Hansen, and then tried to <a href="http:\/\/www.ralstonreports.com\/blog\/fiore-crashes-adelsons-office-then-tells-caucus-she-speaks-him-which-he-denies" target="_blank">rig the re-vote to replace Hansen by claiming to speak for prominent donor Sheldon Adelson</a>. Her own position as chair of taxation was lost when the Republican caucus was reminded she owes over a <a href="http:\/\/www.ralstonreports.com\/blog\/fiore-has-had-seven-figures-liens-filed-against-her" target="_blank">million smackers to the IRS</a>. Fiore, with a straight face, claimed she was a victim of a <a href="http:\/\/crooksandliars.com\/2014\/12\/nevadas-female-tax-cheat-claims-theres-war" target="_blank">&quot;War on women&quot;</a>, was given the job back the next morning, then lost both it and her Majority leader position a week later by claiming she was the victim of a conspiracy among <a href="http:\/\/www.fox5vegas.com\/story\/27661688\/fiore-again-ousted-from-gop-assembly-leadership" target="_blank">the Speaker&#039;s campaign manager and one of the Republican Party&#039;s largest donors.</a>
I know this is typically outside of the purview of Yr Wonkette, but may I humbly suggest a 2014 Canadian Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year? May I also humbly suggest that giving it to anyone other than Rob Ford would be a laughable miscarriage of justice?
Thanks, and obligatory Kanuck &quot;Sorry&quot;
I nominate Florida.
The New York State Legislature (in particular, the State Senate) deserves mention for its circular-firing-squad style of collegiality and its Baroque level of dysfunction. (Granted, it still seems to get the job done,* for some unknown reason, but at great expense.&dagger;)
* Cats actually <i>can</i> be herded sometimes. Who knew? &dagger; Hey, it costs money to produce a drama show.
They only get things done because the Dems and the Reps sit down behind closed doors to divvy up the spoils. It&#039;s bipartisan shitmuffinry.