658 Comments
User's avatar
mtn_socialist's avatar

Those tusks are screaming, "Don't say that you love me, just tell me that you want me..."

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Divine tusks!

Joe Z's avatar

Don't know what picture to put in your hed?

Make your readers happy with pinnipeds!

weejee's avatar

Even though it is a walrus, have to give this post my seal of approval.

Menotsure's avatar

John Lennon made all the walrus rhymes

Above what I can do

So I'll just salute that calf so cute

With a few koo koo ka choos.

verne's avatar

voted most likely to succeed and make others laugh. verry good job, gridley.

NOW WITH MORE DOGGEREL!!!!!!!!

mtn_socialist's avatar

First November Tuesday, man you'll see them

Voting for Talarico, yeah, yo

Shocktreatment's avatar

When I saw those fantastic creatures slide on into the water, I thought of Kurt Vonnegut, describing himself, in 𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦

"...I am six feet two and weigh nearly two hundred pounds and am badly coordinated, except when I swim...In the water I am beautiful."

Lund-O-Matic's avatar

Thank you for bringing Vonnegut into my day!

PrimerGray's avatar

I am reminded of Jerry Garcia, who was quite an accomplished diver toward the end of his life.

PrimerGray's avatar

Triple Lindy libelz

Miss Grundy's avatar

Mina is a good mommy who loves her babby-boy. They are adorbs!

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

And she wishes I had Jocko the Walrus' schlong.....

Forgetful Lucy, she bumped her head like Gary Busey.....

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

Walruses bring out the I.I.Rabi in me: "Who ordered that?"

Narwhals are even worse in that department.

Lund-O-Matic's avatar

The time has come to take a walk and talk of many things…..

Kay Ducky's avatar

Narwals are just figments of our imaginations. I mean, they have to be.

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

Simba told me that there are no real narwhals. They are actually CIA-made spy robots.

Some of them fly.

Resource NW's avatar

They are usually found off the coast of Greenland. Now ask why the convicted felon wants Greenland so badly he will send CIA flying narwal spy robots?

Shocktreatment's avatar

The flying pseudo Narwhals are a real problem and it's getting worse!

Up there with the contrails making the begonias funny...

Hamilton & The Crew TEAM ALGAE's avatar

Ukraine is starting to use them to counter Russian drones.

Al Bellenchia's avatar

Tsk, tsk tusk.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

She’s multitusking

Kay Ducky's avatar

Someone should make a toy line of babby animals and create a faux-scarcity market around them. I bet it won't lead to any controversy whatsoever...

kmblue187's avatar

Daddy's home.

The Wanderer's avatar

Walrus is all like, "Haz U seen mah BUCKET!?"

Not Paranoid, Quadranoid's avatar

Now that there’s a phrase I ain’t heard in a long time.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

LOLrus!

The Wanderer's avatar

"It's an older meme, Sir, but it checks out."

Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

Sigh. I was musing the other day about when a $20 bill was known as a yuppie food stamp. Now it’s just lunch. Ugh.

Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

Cancer would never attack Pam Bondi.

Professional courtesy.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Why would Bondi lie about having cancer?

Hahahaha never mind.

Catharine Crockett's avatar

Yes, thyroid cancer can be a different beast with generally pretty good odds and little treatment if caught early.

marcus816's avatar

This is no wise meant to be a criticism of Wonkette in any way, shape, or form. They are just telling it like it is.

To all of you that are saying that Paxton is going to “win by a landslide” or something similar, I would like to make an observation.

Texas has approximately 8 million registered Democrats, 6.6 million registered Republicans, and 2.8 million Independents. Just for the sake of argument, we will say that 2m of those identifying as Independents actually vote Republican. That means that Texas is more or less 50/50 Democrat/Republican.

Donald Trump received 6.4m votes in Tx in 2024. Kamala Harris received 4.8m.

That means that somewhere around 75% of right-leaning voters went to the polls and voted and 55-60% of Democrats did.

At what point do we stop blaming Democratic “messaging” (which admittedly sucks) and start blaming the 3.2m registered Democrats who couldn’t be bothered to get off their sorry asses and go out and fucking vote to save our goddamned Democracy.

So, yeah, Paxton may “win by a landslide”, but if he does it will be because a bunch of shithead Democrats (of which I am one, though I try not to be a shithead) didn’t bother to vote and no fault of Talarico (just like it was no fault of Kamala Harris).

I realize that I am “preaching to the choir” here, and I am reasonably sure that everyone reading this here is not a shithead and most likely voted if they were able.

Also posted at Stephen’s Play Typer Guy

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I love that James Talarico works into the answer of every question he's asked that Ken Paxton is the most corrupt politician in America.

Of course, our purity pony pearl clutchers are clutching their pearls because that's a broad overgeneralization we can't really prove, so saying that only makes us as bad as the Republicans.

Fuck that noise. Hang that albatross around his neck. If he thinks it's unfair, Paxton can argue in the senatorial debate that there are a lot of politicians more corrupt than him.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Sadly for Paxton, the lifetime achievement award in political corruption has already been granted in perpetuity.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

All I want is for every Texan walking into their polling place in November to remember, "Most corrupt politician in America."

Michael Bowen's avatar

I mean it's objectively not true. The Dotard is by a long shot. But Paxton would have to point that out and say "I'm not the most corrupt, the leader of our party is!"

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Exactly. LBJ's strategy.

"Call him a pigfucker."

"But, he's never fucked a pig."

"I don't care. I want him to have to publicly deny it."

Sherry's avatar

Look what judge Boxwine wants to do now:

DOJ subpoenas Reddit in effort to unmask Trump critics

https://www.rawstory.com/social-media-subpoena/

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

I’m surprised this isn’t getting more attention. Just random people like you and me posting “fuck ice” on their local subreddit and Boxwine gonna do what, indict them?

Bob's avatar

If Trump wants his face on the $250 bill (is there such a thing?) he's going to have to die. Thems the rules.

Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Also why would anyone need a $250 bill? What even is cash for except to be laundered?

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

And let me get this in here right from the start. After he goes, he doesn't get a stamp.

Chino Cherokee's avatar

"...Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules!...'

-the asshole

SkeptiKC's avatar

Nutz; it took me all morning to get this damned device to function properly. I'll be damned if I know what went sideways but after fucking around with it, ignoring it for an hour, then swearing at it melodramatically whilst rebooting the damned thing but it has now deigned to function.

I'll never know whether it was my rather creative profanity or simply pushing the correct buttons in the appropriate sequence that finally compelled this damned device to function properly, but at least I'm able to have SOME interaction with the outside world...sort of.

So how in the hell are ye?

eo's avatar

Whenever I have computer problems, I remember Joseph Campbell's observation: “Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.”

Lou's avatar

Ahoy hoy! Whar Marcie?

cmd Human Scum's avatar

I did look for more info on Pammy. She's told CNN and CBS at least that she had surgery and it's not clear if there's other treatment scheduled. I'd certainly be surprised if she doesn't try to excuse her upcoming meet and greet with the Oversight Committee, though.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Has anyone who has directly examined her confirmed that she has cancer?

cmd Human Scum's avatar

I did see a photo of her today outside her deposition and she did have a bandage on her throat. Not a huge one.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Once again, my question was, Has anyone who has directly examined her confirmed that she has cancer?

Dorothea is a Democrat's avatar

My husband just had thyroid cancer with surgery to remove it and some affected lymph nodes. If good old Lying Pam just had surgery, she would have a large, impressive scar across her neck.

cmd Human Scum's avatar

While looking, and noticing she had “told” CNN and CBS about the surgery, I also looked for any photos, assuming there’d be a bandage. But the photos in the stories were from when she was still AG. Also, if she knew she had had the surgery when she got the subpoena, she should have raised her health issues THEN.

NerdWithNoName's avatar

Walrus dude to his buddy: Look at the tusks on that one!

Alpaca22's avatar

I havr this discussion with our daughters as well. Why are you paying for delivery when the place is a 5 min drive. They argue that they are helping people who need these jobs. They do tip at minimum of 20%.

CzechJournalists's avatar

daughter is at the end of Gen Z like i'm at the end of Gen X. her peers think nothing of blowing 20-30 bucks to get beverages delivered. i dunno if that will continue once they start driving, but that thought is also terrifying.

Cincinnatus's avatar

Big Gretch not running:

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D) ruled out running for president in 2028 in an interview with a local news station. "I think there will be a robust group of people running for president," Whitmer told Detroit's Fox2. "I will not be one of them in 2028, I can tell you that."

Fool's avatar

Pam Bondi's "cancer" is totally legit, "The revelation was confirmed by Katie Miller, former White House communications aide and podcaster wife of White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, in an X post."

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Katie Miller voluntarily had sex with Elon Musk.

I don't think anything more need be said.