Noted Gun Fondler Will Stop Mass Shootings At Bars By Stiffly Regulating ... No, Not Guns, Silly!

Smart guy.

Larry Pratt of the Gun Owners Of America group is nothing if not sane and well-intentioned. He understands, like all good Gunfucker-Americans, that sometimes you need to do a little shooty shooty, for example to keep Congress in line, because that is a GOOD kind of shooty shooty. Another example of Good Shooty Shooty, he says, would have been if the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary had spent a little less time protecting kids from getting shot, and a little more time doing Shooty Shooty. Like we said, sane and well-intentioned.

Pratt has now put on his thinkin'-and-shootin' cap, to rustle up the solution to the Pulse nightclub shootings in Orlando, which he explained to CNN's Carol Costello during a larger discussion about the gun control bills the Senate is considering Monday night. Costello wants to know, would it be OK for there to be a three-day waiting period for people on the terrorist watch list? Pratt says maaaaayyyyybe, but ...

</center> <p/><blockquote>PRATT: [A]ll our mass murders, save two, since 1950, have been in gun-free zones just like the one in Orlando. They're not talking ... <p>COSTELLO: Now wait a minute, just a minor quibble here. But there was an armed guard inside that bar the night that terrorist opened fire ...</p></blockquote> <p>YES THERE WAS! But that is not the point and shut up, Carol: </p><p/><blockquote>PRATT: Yes, it was [a gun-free zone], because he was the only one, state law prohibited anybody else from having a gun, and so they were all unarmed. Once the dirtbag shot his way past the guard, it was open season on helpless victims. [...] <p>COSTELLO: It was a "gun-free" zone because it was a bar, and when people drink, the state of Florida probably doesn't think it's a very good idea to arm patrons ... </p><p>PRATT: <strong>Control the amount of booze you sell them, but don't make them sitting ducks.</strong> </p><p>COSTELLO: IN A BAR??? </p><p>PRATT: In a bar, yes. Oh, it might hurt business ... </p><p>COSTELLO: That's why you GO to a bar.</p></blockquote> <p>Ooh, Larry Pratt sure SPLAINED CAROL, about how bars shouldn't allow much drinking, and probably not even cavorting, frolicking or grinding, but everybody should have guns! Pardon us, but that doesn't sound like a <em>bar</em> so much to us, but more like the lucid dreams Larry Pratt has in the early mornings, after which he awakens with a sticky on the no-no-fly of his papaw boxers. </p><p>For the record, this is Carol Costello LOLing at Larry Pratt: </p><p><img id="e3520" data-rm-shortcode-id="5dad0e08d0bda6f2f1635be6b0c6a773" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY3NDEyMS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTczMzc2NTcyN30.Fw1CH44KiSWM5bS4WAr_BxpQSjgCmF2nTZ36TnW6B4o/img.png?width=980" /> </p><p>Of course, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/myth-good-guy-gun_us_56a01b93e4b076aadcc53893">there's no data</a> to indicate that eliminating gun-free zones and giving every man, woman and child a gun prevents mass shootings. Obviously. </p><p>But this is a bit dumb, even for Larry Pratt. We'll forgive him (a little bit) if he is completely ignorant of what it's like to be at da club, especially at da gay club on da Latin night. He may be under the impression that all the gays in Pulse were sitting with their hands folded in front of them, and nobody was talking, while couples took turns doing the Charleston, politely, the way nightlife was Back In His Day. </p><p>In reality, this is what it is like: </p><p/><center><span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="84a2ce545d713740a3b2eb346172768d"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PRHYm_QfSVI?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;">

Wannabe Rambo dipshits like Larry Pratt actually think if everybody in that club was armed, and somebody started shooting, everyone in attendance would be able to identify IMMEDIATELY, amidst the flashing lights and loud music, where the shooting was coming from, and then, having made that identification, would advance on the shooter en masse , singing praises to Jesus about how thank heavens this isn't a gun-free zone. Ahem, not so much. More likely, it would cause more mayhem and bloodshed, with good guys with guns accidentally shooting other good guys with guns, because they're four drinks and two jello shots in and they CAN'T GODDAMNED TELL WHO THE ACTUAL BAD GUY WITH THE GUN IS.

But maybe if it was just two drinks and no jello shots, and a bunch more guns? Eat a dick, Pratt, and eat a dick, CNN, for always asking the opinions of jizz wankers like him every time something like this happens.

[ Crooks & Liars ]