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Pixeloid's avatar

I can't stand these performative fake "Christians". When someone says they're sending thoughts and prayers it's worse than saying nothing at all. Either response indicates they don't care and will do nothing, but "thoughts and prayers" just rubs it in your face and sounds more like "fuck you!"

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Robert CALLAHAN's avatar

Prayer works as well as anything else, if your idea of the limit of responsible governance is to mutter to yourself while on your knees thinking about how to cash in on the deaths of dozens of children.

He knows he is wrong, Little Mikey, all the same, about not knowing what else to do. Surely he would love, in the same breath, to blame his "friends on the other side of the aisle" for engaging in "unfortunate politicization of a tragedy" for demanding accountability for an easily prevented disaster that was not prevented because Texas is run by crooks and imbeciles just like the ones who gutted our national weather services for fun and profit. You know, the weather services the state could have used to warn people about imminent flash flooding, like they do in places where people care about doing the actual work of governing, and, in contrast to what we find in Texas, they do it.

Imagine that: doing helpful things through government that do not involve privatization, funneling money to wealthy donors, or harming people in need of assistance. Yes, this happens sometimes, Mike, when Republicans have not cheated and slithered themselves into power.

Keep smiling, Mikey, and stay on those knees. We know you hate everything.

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Brian Zwicker's avatar

Your thoughts suck and your prayers don’t work you’ve been saying that crap for decades do something your schmucks‼️

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Marinara's avatar

So how is that praying going pedo?

Not so well?

Well when you're evil God turns his face away

But certainly Satan is happy to hear your many words and do whatever he can to assist you in your nefarious evil ways.

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djny10003's avatar

Pray to the same god who sent a flood to destroy a Christian children's camp in the most Republican state in America, on the Fourth of July? Meanwhile, in big liberal NY, it was a glorious sunny day for all the socialists, gays, and transsexuals to celebrate their freedom by smoking legal marijuana.

I think Mike Johnson is praying to the wrong god.

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Megan Macomber's avatar

Hey, Rep. Virdell, I can think of some reasons why you voted that bill down: (1) You're a skinflint, (2) You're a Republican, (3) You're an asshole.

Wait--that's just one reason. Maybe adult Texans who voted for you deserve you, but those little kids who died sure didn't.

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Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

The best Christians I know are Atheists.

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RRJKR's avatar

"Well since we had the 100 year flood, no worries for another 100 years, Right?" -Sen Cornpone (R)

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thephantomcheese's avatar

Yes, Mr. Johnson, let's all pray to your do-nothing God and your do-nothing Jesus. If they exist, they might as well not for what little good they do.

If I hear one more Christian say "God is good all the time", I'll slap the taste out of his mouth.

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Rad's avatar

I recall a phrase from an old CEO (from Texas!) I worked under; "When you can see the storm coming from 50 miles away, there is no excuse for getting wet". Unless the jackass's in Congress purposely blinded you.

When I see the likes of Johnson, all I see is some dick-snot bible-thumper with no intention of doing anything remotely Christian.

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Ted Cruz was in Athens on vacation while his citizenry was experiencing -- ironically enough -- a Biblical Flood. Conclusions from time spent at the Acropolis:

"That column is called 'Dorkus' and the fancy one is named after Corinthian Leather."

"No Heidi they did not do Olympics in the all-together with their Johnson flapping for crissake!"

"Their ships were made of stone too."

"Damn y'all Heiders -- It's pernounced Purse-so-phony."

"I guess Democracy just gonna always rot."

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Alternative Dog's avatar

𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴 “𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨.”

So God only wanted to kill a few dozen people including several children. He's merciful that way.

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Free beach's avatar

He likes floods. Like NOAA and the arc

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ERISunveiled's avatar

At least Prayer is free…until they realize that's communism and then they'll put a chip in your brain that charges you to talk to God

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thephantomcheese's avatar

Doesn't the church already have tithing?

(For those who don't speak Christianese, it's the holy protection racket where God demands 10% of your salary or He'll fuck you up)

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BlueSpot's avatar

Maybe, just maybe, as the Republicans and MAGAts have stated so many times when a disaster like this one hits, that God was angry at the US for passing Trump's Big Beautiful Bill, and this was God's way of punishing us on the very day that Trump signed this horrible bill.

If the Republicans and MAGAts truly believed what they're always preaching, this should be taken as a warning from God about their acts and legislation under Trump.

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Thixotropickle's avatar

"God, please help all the suffering people affected by this flood, amen."

"Also God, what's up with allowing all the flooding to happen in the first place? Some kind of sick asshole?"

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Hank Napkin's avatar

Let me tell you EXACTLY what the GOP thinks about this:

1) 100 dead in a population of 360,000,000 does not even move the needle, and

2) Besides that none of them vote, and

3) Only 99,999,900 to go!

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