The war on Religious Freedoms & Liberty is getting bloodier every day. Homophobes can barely even homophobe in public anymore. Men who think women should just DON'T HAVE SEX (except with them, of course) have to exist in a universe in which women have sex anyway (except with them, of course). And now you cannot even get your prayer on in a shopping mall:
A few weeks ago the Dublin Girls had gathered inside the local mall for an evening power walk. They formed a small circle and as they had done many times before, they bowed their heads to petition the Almighty.
But before one of the runners could say, “Lord Jesus,” she was interrupted by a mall cop barreling down a corridor.
“The security guard came running toward us and said, ‘You are not allowed to pray at the mall. That’s against the policy,’” Tammy told me.
You see? It is just like religious wingnuts have been warning us! They're coming for your Bibles AND your power-walk groups. And it's not like the mall has any good reason for its policy, right?
The security guard told her they’d had a problem with a previous religious group trying to proselytize shoppers. But Tammy said they weren’t trying to convert anybody – they were just trying to pray. And it’s not like they were having a “Holy Ghost Shoutin’ Prayer.”
Oh. Well, maybe there is one good reason after all. Maybe shoppers would like to just buy their Gap khakis and deep-throat their Hot Dogs On A Stick in the food court without having to navigate around the prayer circle. It's hard enough to get around the perfume sprayers who want to know if you've heard the good word about Tara Reid's new Sharknado-themed perfume ! But Tammy, the leader of the pack, thinks it is most unfair that she and her gal pals can't even get their Jesus on in the shopping mall, like it's some kind of privately owned shopping mall. And she double-pinky swears that by standing in a circle and Lord Jesus-ing, they weren't trying to make any kind of point to their fellow mall-goers AT ALL because they were using their indoor voices, not their shouty voices.
But alas, their god has forsaken them because that's the mall policy. So oppressive. So war on religon-y. America's Christians reallyareunder attack when, as Todd Starnes oh-so-smartly notes, you can't even "ask God to bless General Tso’s chicken at the food court’s Chong Wah Express."
[ FoxNews ]
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Paul Blart, Satanist, paid hall monitor, virgin. According to his LinkedIn profile at least.
He knows it courtesy of his contacts in Google and the NSA.