21 Comments

Paul Blart, Satanist, paid hall monitor, virgin. According to his LinkedIn profile at least.

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He knows it courtesy of his contacts in Google and the NSA.

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Says more to me about the power-tripping proclivities of low-paid mall rent-a-cops than any kind of socio-political animus towards the practice or expression of religion. I wouldn't have any problem with these woman standing there praying amongst themselves, so long as they're not getting in my way. I can't imagine what they're praying <i>for</i> prior to taking a walk around the mall... that somebody doesn't become separated from the group, forcing the rest to have to go looking for them, or wait an extra 20 minutes until they find they're way back? That there might be an unadvertised sale at J.C. Penney's or The Gap? That some wack-a-loon with an assault weapon and a ballistic vest doesn't choose that morning to 'make his 2nd Amendment statement' in the public space?

Actually, that last possibility strikes me as a pretty good reason for praying, if you're into that, which I'm not. Obviously it ain't gonna do any good, but if that's what it takes to make them feel better and get out of the house and get a little fitness, more power to them.

Just, like I said, don't get in my way. There's an unadvertised sale going on at Aeropostale and my girlfriend has made it very clear that she'd <i>better</i> be getting that blouse she pointed out to me the last time we were here for her birthday. Or else!

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Hell, it might <i>be</i> the <a href="https:\/\/www.google.com\/maps\/@42.099681,-88.02423,3a,75y,92.31h,87.71t\/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1stIJItyLhuHx4C5JA9RE5pQ!2e0!6m1!1e1" target="_blank">mall next door</a>!

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At least if they forgot their clutchin' pearls there would be a Kay Jewelers right there.

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Who IS Tara Reid? Or am I better off not knowing?

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Wouldn't that leave you a little thor?

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They're probably Red Hat Ladies also, too. I hate Red Hat Ladies.

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The Joooz and muzlims MAKE you put a hat on.

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A sort-attractive <strike>young</strike> \"actress\" who mutilated her boobs with surgery and her brain with drugs.

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Good gawd, y'all. Just go ahead and move that stuff over to Hobby Lobby, why don'tcha? Oh - right - too many Hoverrounds in the aisles. Hard to walk, and all.

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Tara Reid and "Sharknado" are a marriage made in Heaven. Thank you, Jeebus <i>and</i> the Holy Ghost!

Forgot to check: is it still okay to praise Him in the comments?

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Paul Blart, Satanist.

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Render unto Orange Julius.

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I wonder how this group would feel if they had to power walk around a few guys kneeling on prayer rugs.

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The only prayer I have inside a shopping mall is that I get out of there alive (double around the holiday season).

Question - can I have a prayer circle before I browse Amazon.com?

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