Granny's got a gun We just love a good conservative children's story, or we suppose we would, if we ever found a good one. So far, though, we keep finding a lot of moralistic twaddle, such as rhyming fables about the torments of Hell, a mutilated squirrel's
Little Red Riding Hood took aim at the bed in which she suspected the big bad ugly wolf. Hasta la vista, baby, she said and pulled the trigger. The bed immediately turned into a red pulpy mess. When LRRH went over to check out her trophy, she saw that it wasn't the wolf she shot, but grandma after all. She heard mean laughter behind her and when she turned around it was the wolf, who gobbled her up in one slightly oversized bite.
I have Fluffy Cuddlekins. Fluffy and Katomi are talking about love.
“That's nice, but...” Katomi began.“But nothing,” Fluffy interrupted. “I'm an expert on love. Love is a rainbow.” Her mane flashed brightly in all its colors. “You think everything is a rainbow.”“Love is a rainbow,” Fluffy repeated. “It has many hues. Bringing home a bouquet of flowers is, say, the yellow. Taking you to your favorite restaurant on your birthday is the red. Knowing you like green tea is, of course, the green.”
OHHH, did I forget to tell everyone that on Fridays I swap names between you and Evan?? On Tuesdays I swap Trix and Kaili, for future reference. (Sheesh, sorry, Dok. No wonder I grew up thinking my middle name was "Payattention.") Here, have some delicious bacon:https://umd.spoonuniversity...
What fun! Here are some more fairy tales with guns
And when little red Riding Hood opened Grandma's door she got blown away because Grandma thought the wolf had come back.
Hansel was waving his gun in round to scare off the wicked witch when a cop car pulled up and blew Hansel away because he was a black kid waving a gun at an old lady. When Gretel ran to her dying brother she was shot as well because the cops thought she was trying to get the gun to shoot them.
Jack the Giant Killer found a .22 LR does fuck all against a 40 ft tall giant.
Snow White double tapped the Prince away because she thought he was a rapist.
The Prince was carrying when he climbed up to Rapunzel. The gun slipped an blew off his manhood.
The little boy pointed at the emperor who wore no clothes. One of the crowd thought he was pointing a gun and shot him.
Androcles was scared of the lion and shot it, later he was killed in the arena.
Vonnegut, Thurber, What about Naomi... starting to wonder if Dok is an online pseudonym my dad is using in secret. Or you're secret brothers. OR Dok is secretly my dad, OR, and most likely, it's getting late on a Friday and my brains they are a'fried.
Time to deglamorize violence.
I adored the graphic novel Pride, Prejudice and Zombies...
Love him...
I'll take care of that little lady.
Goldi-glocks...I know it doesn't fit the pick, but I'm a fan of name puns.
Little Red Riding Hood took aim at the bed in which she suspected the big bad ugly wolf. Hasta la vista, baby, she said and pulled the trigger. The bed immediately turned into a red pulpy mess. When LRRH went over to check out her trophy, she saw that it wasn't the wolf she shot, but grandma after all. She heard mean laughter behind her and when she turned around it was the wolf, who gobbled her up in one slightly oversized bite.
Rootin' for the wolf, (like the good libtard that I am).
A Darwinian fairy tale?
I have Fluffy Cuddlekins. Fluffy and Katomi are talking about love.
“That's nice, but...” Katomi began.“But nothing,” Fluffy interrupted. “I'm an expert on love. Love is a rainbow.” Her mane flashed brightly in all its colors. “You think everything is a rainbow.”“Love is a rainbow,” Fluffy repeated. “It has many hues. Bringing home a bouquet of flowers is, say, the yellow. Taking you to your favorite restaurant on your birthday is the red. Knowing you like green tea is, of course, the green.”
OHHH, did I forget to tell everyone that on Fridays I swap names between you and Evan?? On Tuesdays I swap Trix and Kaili, for future reference. (Sheesh, sorry, Dok. No wonder I grew up thinking my middle name was "Payattention.") Here, have some delicious bacon:https://umd.spoonuniversity...
Yes. Yes, she does.
that was brilliant. no snark, a truly terrific piece of early film.
What fun! Here are some more fairy tales with guns
And when little red Riding Hood opened Grandma's door she got blown away because Grandma thought the wolf had come back.
Hansel was waving his gun in round to scare off the wicked witch when a cop car pulled up and blew Hansel away because he was a black kid waving a gun at an old lady. When Gretel ran to her dying brother she was shot as well because the cops thought she was trying to get the gun to shoot them.
Jack the Giant Killer found a .22 LR does fuck all against a 40 ft tall giant.
Snow White double tapped the Prince away because she thought he was a rapist.
The Prince was carrying when he climbed up to Rapunzel. The gun slipped an blew off his manhood.
The little boy pointed at the emperor who wore no clothes. One of the crowd thought he was pointing a gun and shot him.
Androcles was scared of the lion and shot it, later he was killed in the arena.
Vonnegut, Thurber, What about Naomi... starting to wonder if Dok is an online pseudonym my dad is using in secret. Or you're secret brothers. OR Dok is secretly my dad, OR, and most likely, it's getting late on a Friday and my brains they are a'fried.
This gives my avatar a sadz.
Conservative: "Are you suggesting that Darwinism ISN'T a fairy tale?"