NRA Picks Oliver North As Next President. Libs Fuckin' Triggered, Man

His felony convictions were tossed, so yes, he can own guns.

As one more affirmation that the National Rifle Association is both a gun lobby and a bastion of the Forever Culture War, the organization announced yesterday that its new president will be Oliver North, the former Reagan aide who's been living on wingnut welfare since he became synonymous with the Iran-Contra scandal. North's new job doesn't reflect any actual change at the NRA -- the president is largely a ceremonial position, while the real power remains with executive vice president Wayne LaPierre, who isn't going anywhere. But as David A. Graham points out at The Atlantic, the choice of North is perfectly consistent with LaPierre's own strategy of dealing with controversy by ramping up the outrage and the sense that gun owners are constantly endangered. After all, in their own minds, they're the only ones who truly love freedom, but they're surrounded by dangerous liberals who want to take away their guns and their way of life.

Who better to fill the role of figurehead than Oliver North, whose entire post-Reagan career has involved coasting on the perception that the establishment done him wrong, when all he wanted to do was what's best for America? Oh, sure, he contrived a secret, illegal program inside Reagan's National Security Council to ignore an international arms embargo and sell weapons to Iran. Then he and his pals took the money from the arms sales and funneled it to the Contras, the guerrilla army trying to bring down the elected (but socialist, therefore evil) government of Nicaragua, in defiance of a law forbidding US aid to the rebels.

Sure, sure, North broke some dumb "laws," but that's not the point: The point is that he loved America and hated communism, and that made it all OK. If there were any real criminals in the story, it was the elected members of Congress who passed restrictions on funding the Contras in the first place, just because they didn't like the Contras "killing actual nuns." Just as the Sandinista government of Nicaragua was illegitimate, so were those dumb laws. North, testifying in his beautiful Marine uniform, looked like a great American hero and wasn't at all apologetic for ignoring a mere act of Congress that he knew in his heart, which settled the matter, was un-American, and North was a goddamned hero.

Let's not forget that some on the right are still sore that when the damned liberal enemies of Reagan exposed Iran-Contra, they also thwarted the far bigger plan North was pursuing with then-CIA director William Casey. They hoped to keep secret arms deals to embargoed nations going, to establish a permanent shadow intelligence agency that could do America's dirty work without liberal congressional meddling. There were to be important clandestine pro-American operations well beyond just funding the Contras:

As North described the plan, he and Casey would have used profits from the secret sale of U.S. arms to Iran to run an "off-the-shelf, self-sustaining, stand-alone entity that could perform certain activities" overseas. Unlike the CIA, the secret organization would not have to depend on Congress for its funds or notify lawmakers of its activities.

Yep. He literally tried to establish a Deep State that wouldn't be subject to any oversight from Congress or even the president -- North and Casey never bothered telling Reagan about their plans, to protect him, you know. Sadly, they were stopped before they could pull it off.

And yes, even that 1987 Los Angeles Times piece noted polling that suggested North was

winning in the battle for public support. His enormous success before the television cameras continued to bring in thousands of appreciative telegrams, a deluge of telephone calls to congressional offices and bouquets of flowers.

He was a loveable rogue, and what's a little shadow government if the guy who tried to set it up loves America? North rode the rightwing adulation into an attempt to run for the Senate, but at the time, the country hadn't gone full-goose crazy yet, so North had to settle for a lucrative career in radio talk and as a hero of the right, because he was such a compelling, patriotic victim. It makes perfect sense that the perpetually aggrieved NRA would choose him as its titular leader, because look at just how angry some old liberal blogger already is about what North did for America over thirty years ago -- this should really get under the skin of elitists who use words like "titular." (Heh, tits.)

Just look at the response from Kris Brown, co-president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, who issued a statement saying it's

downright baffling that they'd choose to install a walking lightning rod at the top of the organization [...] Oliver North's very name is synonymous with corruption and disgrace.

Well, yeah, to you, liberal gun-grabber lady. That just shows what you know. To NRA supporters, Ollie North is a victim of the liberal establishment, and he'll be a great voice in support of real American values. Never mind some casual law-breaking, they were bad laws, and don't you libs agree with Martin Luther King that bad laws don't have to be obeyed, huh? As NPR notes, when lifetime members of the NRA submit their ballots for the NRA board of directors, Oliver North has been the top vote-getter again and again. He really understands them.

As usual, The Onion makes the perfect case for why North and the NRA are a match made in rightwing heaven:

NRA Touts Oliver North’s Expertise At Avoiding Jail Time For Colluding With Hostile Foreign Powers https: //t.co/pKAwJLMBvo   pic.twitter.com/XiZ5P6vngx 

— The Onion (@TheOnion) May 7, 2018 

This is, after all, the rightwing world where a four-year-old who's learned to operate the mechanism of a bolt-action rifle and immediately go for the trigger is simply "adorable." This is, as the man says, America.

This video is INCREDIBLE!! Parenting done RIGHT 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/felOU31dhf 

— Kendall Jones (@_Kendalljones_) May 5, 2018 

If you fail to see why that's the best thing in the world, you just don't know anything about parenting, guns, America, or freedom. Get ready for the bumper stickers saying " MY PRESIDENT IS OLIVER NORTH."

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[ NPR /  Atlantic / WaPo / LAT / The Onion ]