NRA Will End Mass Shootings By Calling Them Something Else Instead

The National Rifle Association and its useful flunkies have identified the major issue driving the problem of gun violence in America. Is it too many guns floating around? Is it a culture that tries to scare the crap out of you by telling you that President Obama/liberals/jackbooted BLM agents/black people are coming to take away all of your rights, and then fetishizes the gun as the solution to all your fears? Ha ha, don’t be ridiculose. The problem is that the media keeps calling people who shoot other people gunmen and shooters, so let’s not use those scary words. Problem solved! Thanks, NRA.

Via Media Matters, we’re getting a taste of this new effort by the NRA to make sure you all have unlimited access to as many manhood enhancers as you can store in your bunker. In the above video, sentient yeast infection Billy Johnson of NRA News whinesplains about the media labeling of Elliot Rodger, the charming dick who killed a whole mess of people in Santa Barbara a few weeks back.

When every headline refers to this person as a gunman or a shooter, guns become permanently linked with his crime, while cars and knives get a free pass. They fade into the background… Why isn’t he equally referred to as the stabber or the driver.

Oh, we know this one, we know! Call on us! It’s because knives and cars have many, many other uses besides being instruments of death and destruction, while guns were invented for the sole purpose of hurting and killing people. And they are really good at it. Yr Wonkette does not now look askance at other drivers or Benihana chefs because Elliot Rodger also used a knife and a car on his victims. People who feel obliged to let us know they are carrying a gun in public, simply because they can? Those people are dicks.

Johnson goes on to break down the word “gunman” so that we will know not to fear it anymore:

I’m pretty sure I may be a gunman. Calm down, okay? It’s just a word, a word that means a man who is armed with a gun or skilled with a gun.

Here at Wonkette we are all about the fact-checking, so let’s see double-check this condescending prick’s definition of gunman.

 Dictionary.com:  A person armed with or expert in the use of a gun, especially one ready to use a gun unlawfully.

 Merriam-Webster.com:  A man armed with a gun,especially a professional killer, or a man noted for speed or skill in handling a gun.

 Wikipedia:  A word sometimes used to describe a criminal, armed with a gun.

So sure, Billy Johnson, your definition checks out if we’re willing to overlook all the other definitions that don’t fit your narrative.

I’m a shooter too. But do you know what I’ll never be?

A former virgin?

A crazed, self-absorbed psychopath who’s hellbent on hurting people at any cost and by any means.

Ah, you say that. But how do we know we can take your word for it? After all, a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun until he uses that gun to hurt someone. Just like you’re a safe driver, until you fuck up and kill someone with your car.

This is the second video like this we have seen in a month, following up on this charmer by another NRA flunkie, Dom Raso. Good job, guys. George Orwell would be really impressed with your work.

[ Media Matters ]