NRO: Allies? We Don't Need No Stinking Allies

Dear lord we already have Hagel fatigue. We already had to pretend that the GOP suddenly cares about gay rights and therefore Hagel = root of all evil. We have to listen to John McCain concern troll the hell out of the nomination because he will never ever not be butthurt about losing to Bamz in 2008. We have RealDoll Ted Cruz (no, really. Go look at the fucking photo at the upcoming link. He is made of wax) declaring that Hagel is unacceptable because he won't get tough with Iran, which in turn will make us go to war with Iran. Best of all, we have the explanation that you have to oppose Hagel (and Kerry) because if you don't, it just looks like the Republicans hated Rice because she is a brown lady person:  

Moreover, as the FPI points out, if Republicans, after forcing Susan Rice to withdraw her name from consideration, swoon over Kerry and Hagel and vote to confirm them, it will only lead ordinary Americans to think that Republicans are an anti-woman, anti-black party which opposed a black woman only to vote for two stridently liberal white men.

And Rice’s mistaken comments were a tiny infraction compared to the mistakes and extremely liberal views of Chuck Hagel and John Kerry.

Wait - so now we like Susan Rice???

Anyway, we were going to make a solemn vow that we wouldn't write about Hagel today, but National Review Online has broken our resolve by reaching new depths of dumb by having a sad that Hagel once said:  

"We need friends. We need allies. We need institutions and structures — like we formed after World War II — of common purpose, dealing with common challenges. Terrorism is a common challenge; it’s not unique to America. If we want to win against terrorism, it’s going to take all of these relationships, seamless networks of intelligence-sharing and -gathering. So yes, that experience in Vietnam has shaped me and will continue to shape me.”

Those sound like good ideas! Those sound like good ideas drawn from someone who actually, y'know, FOUGHT IN A FUCKING WAR, a position that excludes most of your modern GOP except John McCain. These sound like good ideas for a modern era when terrorism is borderless and pervasive!

Stupidheads. These are bad ideas because 'merica doesn't need no ally-lateral togethering because that is for wimps like John Kerry:  

Hagel, for example, has opposed the imposition of unilateral sanctions on Iran. His remarks are reminiscent of those made by another Obama nominee — Massachusetts senator John Kerry — who, in a 2004 presidential debate, claimed that the United States had the right to take preemptive action abroad if it “passes the global test, where your countrymen, your people understand fully why you’re doing what you’re doing and you can prove to the world that you did it for legitimate reasons.”

Let me repeat: MERICA DON'T NEED NO ALLIES. Remember how we singlehandedly won World War One and Two and Korea and Iraq and Afghanistan? USA! USA!

[ National Review Online / Conservative Daily News ]