The happy non-secession vote in Alberta led our news this Tuesday, and we didn’t even have any ‘80s lyrics to celebrate. So if at first you don’t secede, take off, eh? Ya hoser!

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Our day began as it must, with Tabs, including the aforementioned continuation of Canada, and a nifty gif of how glassblowers make punkins.

James Carville would rather not see Democrats win if any of them are “socialists.” We would rather not have James Carville telling Dems what to do ever again, forever.

Bari Weiss remains awful, day whatever. Also racist, and also lying.

Republicans are really taking political attack ads right into the gutter. You may need a Silkwood shower after reading about what they’re up to in Ohio.

OMG the Republican panic over MILLIONS of noncitizens voting in US elections is … still not true, although the DOJ found 28 people in California who may have registered and voted improperly. We must therefore do a full DNA test of every potential voter, then give the DNA a polygraph.

The “president” is doing very presidential things again.

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O Canada! Wonkette One-A-Day, October 20…