Obama Standing In Somebody's Backyard Again

 
 Hey a colored guy snuck into somebody's yard, in Iowa or wherever. What is up with that. Oh this is Barack Obama, boring president who does not give everyone jobs somehow. This is his "new schtick," which is frankly kind of awful. Why can't he be more like America's only hero, Sarah Palin? Ifshegot in your yard somehow, while her children stole all your jewelry inside, she would make you feel proud to be an American! How? By signing your book with her picture on it! And then she would smirk and say something idiotic about how it's great to be an American even if the America we once knew (Reagan Recession, AIDS, whatever) is now just like that but worse, because of the various Bushes/Clintons taking all the moneys. Anyway, this sucks.

11: 23 AM -- Now the supporters will ask sad questions, and the children voters are "losing their hope" because they don't have jobs, can't find jobs.

11: 24 AM -- Obama reminds this lady that 24,000 students in Madison came out to cheer him yesterday, and could the news maybe report onthat? Because that is a big goddamned crowd! Of course these are kids who are still safely in college.

11: 25 AM -- Obama is mean to old people by saying nobody in this yard remembers the Great Depression, and then some olds in the yard are all, "We remember, and we are just here in this yard," and Obama says they look good for their age.

11: 30 AM -- Did that answer really take FIVE MINUTES?

11: 30 AM -- The only part we really followed there was that in the distant future, when this college grad who doesn't have a job somehow has a career and a family of his own ... something something competitive America.

11: 31 AM -- "Why won't you stop all these fucking wars? These are actually the things that are ending this empire, right now."

11: 32 AM -- Obama: "Uh I didn't start Iraq, I said I would end it responsibly, we just brought home 100,000 of the 150,000 U.S. troops, combat is over, could you people at least give me a little backyardigan applause for that?"

11: 32 AM -- (Polite applause.)

11: 33 AM -- Also you are in Afghanistan even DEEPER what is up with that?

11: 34 AM -- Nobama: "You people were all 'Let's invade Afghanistan, 9/11, get bin Laden,' etc., and now you don't care. Afghanistan is super poor, shit takes forever."

11: 34 AM -- American People: "We are getting super poor ourselves, have you noticed?"

11: 34 AM -- Obama: "I will make this answer very long."

11: 35 AM -- You know who would kick ass at this kind of thing? Bill Clinton.

11: 37 AM -- People on their death beds in rest homes. Lady veterans in the hospital forever with their heads blown off. Health care concerns. God this country is depressing and awful.

11: 38 AM -- Lady says, "And these 26-year-olds are going to be 50 in a heartbeat." God how we know.

11: 39 AM -- And Obama says, "Uhh there's nothing in my health care to death panel your mom on Medicare," and the lady says, "No I am worried about *me*, I just brought up my mom because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about."

11: 40 AM -- Obama: "You just keep saying shit, could you tell me what it is you're talking about, what is your concern?"

11: 41 AM -- This woman is ... retarded?

11: 41 AM -- Obama is trying to tell her that, because she just told him she has health insurance through her employer, that she still has health insurance through her employer. Wow everyone has done a very bad job at everything.

11: 42 AM -- Here's a GREAT opportunity for Obama to give a series of simple, snappy sound bites about health reform. Simple, quick facts. Clear up this woman's obvious confusion, make something that can be YouTube'd and put on the newscasts and radio headlines. Instead, this intractable confusing bullshit.

11: 45 AM -- And .... given this chance, this easy question that required an easy, snappy answer ... he drones on for more than five minutes, and MSNBC the liberal political channel cuts him off and goes to a commercial, and when they come back from the break, there will be no more Obama in the yard being boring.

11: 56 AM -- Eh, we just switched to complaining on the Twitter. 

11: 56 AM -- Next on MSNBC: People are so fucking doomed they've quit getting married even when they *wanted* to get married and had someone who wanted to marry them, because nobody has money to have a wedding, or to get a place to live, and probably you can get more food stamps when it's two single people, living in different homeless shelters.