Of Course Hillary Clinton Paid Someone Off To Throw Shoe At Her, Says Some Dumb Idiot

Man, we hadn't thought of Bernard Goldberg in AGES because he doesn't seem to have published any new screedbooks to pimp at CPAC about the lamestream media, but apparently he has kept on truckin' over at his mighty fine looking blog where he and his bloggers -- probably nine of them, full-time -- are just kicking around the idea that maybe Hillz Clinton summoned the ghost of poor murdered Vince Foster to blackmail that lady into throwing a shoe at her head. Take it away, some guy at Bernard Goldberg's blog:  

There is a political axiom, I believe first posed by Euclid or Archimedes, that when Hillary does something, or when something happens to her, she has carefully calculated it beforehand. This is almost always true, the one trivial exception being the nomination and election of Barack Obama in 2008. So it would not be stretching logic to suppose that Hillary arranged to have the shoe thrown at her. Remembering the Bush incident, she may have calculated that this would make her seem presidential. This would explain why Ms. Ernst was not pounded to a pulp by Hillary’s bodyguards, and why she seems on the verge of getting off scot free. Don’t be too surprised, the next time you visit Phoenix, if you see her sitting at a table in a downtown Hillary for President store front, stuffing and sealing envelopes.

We think that the esteemed whoever guy is trying his hand at satire, but it fails as terribly as most conservative forays into humor. Also, too, though the shoe-throwing lady did not get beaten to death as Mr. Goldberg thinks she should have, she is facing federal charges. 

Alison Michelle Ernst was charged with two misdemeanor counts — trespassing on a restricted building or grounds and violence against a person in a restricted building or grounds, according to a copy of the complaint filed by the U.S. Secrect Service.

You'd think if Hillz had planned this, she would have arranged for that lady to get disappeared or murdered so she couldn't spill the beans. Not very evil overlord of Hillary to leave loose ends like this.

You will not even be the tiniest bit taken by surprise that semi-human bloviation machine Rush Limbaugh is pretty certain that Goldberg's blogger is right.

Yes, that's right. Rush is sure it was staged, but he hasn't watched the video or read anything about it, but he knows everything about the Clintons and also too he is pretty sure that it was staged to make the Benghazi people look bad. Rush Limbaugh is a paragon of modern political discourse, America.

[ Bernard Goldber g/ Media Matters / Las Vegas Review Journal ]