386 Comments
User's avatar
Mehmeisterjr's avatar

Also, too, everybody knows that Kenneth Copeland has the sole authority to cast out virii.

Expand full comment
Culinary Mercenary's avatar

I have a new grocery store rule, I look at what I want to get then I pick the package I hope is right. Picking through stuff should be a no-no for a while. Fortunately, I have some experience in this.

Expand full comment
Culinary Mercenary's avatar

My usual place has arrows and space lines for those people who can't tell 6" from 6'.

Expand full comment
m3bosha's avatar

Oh, I wondered why at 10am on Tuesday with ample parking there were no small carts. Good. I grabbed a big cart for defense anyway.

Expand full comment
Relativicus's avatar

That is a very easy point to deflect on religious terms. God is testing them. God is punishing them. God will protect the truly devout. Old hat, really.

Expand full comment
Wookie Monster's avatar

I suggest a compromise: They can have their megachurch gathering if they agree to lock all the doors from the outside and stay in there until we give them the all clear.

Expand full comment
Wookie Monster's avatar

“If you’re preborn you’re fine. If you’re preschool, you’re fucked.” - George Carlin.

Expand full comment
WeepingAngel is not indicted's avatar

Same here. Truly appalling but unfortunately not surprising.

Expand full comment
John Norris's avatar

Give them the same food, water, soap, health services, and beddings as the ICE and Border Patrol give the immigrate kids.

Expand full comment
John Norris's avatar

Mine also.

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

I'm talking about waiting to get into the store.

Expand full comment
Mecha343's avatar

Speaking of pastors that refuse to stop service during the pandemic, here is another one:

https://lawandcrime.com/cov...

Expand full comment
GrannysKnitting's avatar

why can't they do it online? all the other religions are trying to do that, and looking at ways to keep their congregation safe? who do fundie xtians have to be so dumb?

Expand full comment
alwayspunkindrublic's avatar

That's better than what I remember, but yeah.

Expand full comment
-=|Seriously, ☑️|=-'s avatar

If this “God” is suffering along with us, then it isn’t really omnipotent is it? And thus there’s no reason to lean on it, because if it could do anything about the problem, it would. So in that case, what possible reason would anyone have to worship it?

Expand full comment
-=|Seriously, ☑️|=-'s avatar

We call that “fertilizer” ‘round these parts.

Expand full comment