Hmm, Osama bin Laden was 1) a male who 2) sat around his house all day. Whatever could he have been up to? Oh, just THE most covert masturbation sessions in all of human history. That's right— there was a porn stash in bin Laden's compound. It was "extensive." Oh no! Why did we heathen Americans have to make sexual intercourse so alluring to bin Ladne's body? Now he'll never get into heaven. He was so close to getting into heaven! "The pornography recovered in bin Laden's compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video." He had video equipment and liked porn; there is hope for an Osama bin Laden sextape after all! (Maybe it's that one John Edwards made?)
Please forgive a stranger writing to you. I have a financial matter of the utmost confidentiality to impart, and can no longer trust my closest associates.
My late father, the shiek, died leaving $100,000,000 in oil and gas revenues in a non-interest-bearing bank account in Dubai...
Michael Lucas porn, Jack? Meh. I mean, it looks good, but maybe it looks TOO good? It's a bit sleek and aesthetic and soulless for my tastes. Plus, gay Republican and Islamophobe Michael Lucas insists on putting himself and his lips in his movies, which is a turn-off. Now if Steven Scarborough wanted to put himself in his movies... well, that would be a different story.
Be all you can be.
You know, it's probably a real challenge to get up-burqua clips.
Only selected Congressional leaders will be shown the porn stash.
I didn't think anybody knew about that.
He and Hitler are hopefully sitting around comparing their former respective porn stashes, since Adolf had the same issues: <a href="http://www.greatenjoy.com/2..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.greatenjoy.com/2011/01/25/5-hidden-fac...">http://www.greatenjoy.com/2...
porn: the crossroads of all cultures.
yes and many women and men of wonkette thank you for that, jack.
&quot;Dick&quot; Cheney?
Muslim males are circumcised, too. And they don&#039;t call it &quot;porking&quot; in either tradition, I believe.
Sniff my thumbdrive.
Pee-wee Herman?
When he died did they play &quot;Faps?&quot;
If all the college juniors were laid end to end it would be Saturday night.
(Thank you Dorothy Parker!)
Business Most Urgent!
Dear Sir:
Please forgive a stranger writing to you. I have a financial matter of the utmost confidentiality to impart, and can no longer trust my closest associates.
My late father, the shiek, died leaving $100,000,000 in oil and gas revenues in a non-interest-bearing bank account in Dubai...
Michael Lucas porn, Jack? Meh. I mean, it looks good, but maybe it looks TOO good? It&#039;s a bit sleek and aesthetic and soulless for my tastes. Plus, gay Republican and Islamophobe Michael Lucas insists on putting himself and his lips in his movies, which is a turn-off. Now if Steven Scarborough wanted to put himself in his movies... well, that would be a different story.
They&#039;ll have to get the Riley pictures from Breitbart.