280 Comments
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Dr. Rags's avatar

At least it wasn't the colon!!

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Relativicus's avatar

This sounds like a reasonable compromise. Pin it all on Kevin Bacon and let’s call it a day.

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biff murphy's avatar

"When you've lost Matt Gaetz, maybe you need to dial it back a touch"

Or you can send Gaetz back in for a kool-aide refill...

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Ahad, Holy Dabir of Aleppo's avatar

The word you're looking for is cleat, infidel

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Gigglesnort's avatar

I have to assume Giuliani's "girlfriends" are paid in some way, at least with a little bling, otherwise it is inexplicable to me how someone could voluntarily assume that role. Maybe another reason he is cash-strapped right now.

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Clark_Nova's avatar

The ones not scared off by the $3000+ per month cost? Talk about there being a balm in Gilead.

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Wookie Monster's avatar

I’m starting to miss the days when wingnuts would just email each other lists of random dead people and try to attribute them all to a single democrat like Clinton or Obama.

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Amy!'s avatar

Illuminatus Trilogy LIBEL!!

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Amy!'s avatar

Well, that and some people just don't like sex, even though they look pretty sexy. Rudes has to be a pretty good shield from most other handsy rich fucks, and provides an entree into a high level of sugardaddy concentration. Since he can't get it up, you can even market yourself (quietly!) to potential prospects as "untouched". Nice scam if you can get the creepy old impotent dude to sponsor you, right?

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OrdinaryJoe's avatar

It's in the name of their club: Republicon

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Disgruntled Farmer Employee's avatar

Donald Trump has promised that Rudy will be briefing the Justice Department and Congress on his findings very soon.

Yeah, sure.

We need Matlock to crack this nut baseball shoe.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

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Disgruntled Farmer Employee's avatar

Even worse!

Schiff is a, a, a....vegan.

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easelox *&^%$#@#$%^&*())(*&^'s avatar

I got one of those emails in about 1997 or 8. It was a scanned list on a copy that had been copied so much it was nearly illegible., with those big areas of shadows that develop in the white space.

Totes legit; for added authenticity: it was forwarded by the new crackpot guy in the office who wore stained sweats, sweatshirt and flip flops on Friday, you know, Friday casual style.

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joel_hanes's avatar

Before his father set him up in politics, Matt Gaetz worked as a heavy outside a strip club.Outside, because Matt Gaetz is not the kind of person that the owner of a strip club can trust to work inside the club.

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