Oh Ben Sasse, Please Shut The Fuck Up

Ben Sasse thinks about being a hero EVERY DAY. But then he decides not to, EVERY DAY.

Ben Sasse, the conservative Republican senator from Nebraska who very bravely occasionally tweets that he thinks Donald Trump is a bad man who is hurting America, yet marches with Trump in lockstep like a good little soldier at all other times, got an interesting question on Twitter this weekend:

yep — regularly consider it (except the “from Dem” part) https: //t.co/ZZCQKOPhL9

— Ben Sasse (@Ben Sasse) 1536410796.0 

This came after an extended tweet-storm where Sasse bemoaned the state of America, said we need to get back to a place where we can all agree on facts, and agreed that Donald Trump is making things worse. Specifically he is very concerned that people are believing in conspiracy theories more and more every day in Trump's America, but of course, like a common Chuck Todd/Maggie Haberman/Chris Cillizza, Sasse added that one time a bunch of Democrats believed George W. Bush did 9/11, so #BothSidesDoIt.

Anyway, can't we get some civility up in here for poor Ben Sasse?

He expanded on his Twitter thoughts on Sunday:

Speaking on CNN's "State of the Union," Sasse (R-Neb.) said he considers himself an "independent conservative who caucuses with the Republicans." But despite his misgivings, he said he is "committed to the party of Lincoln and Reagan as long as there is a chance to reform."

Ben Sasse, who is apparently brand new at life, thinks that's gonna happen sometime soon! Also maybe when he grows up he can be a fairy princess spaceman cowboy doctor, because that's a real job! Also, Ben Sasse is a very good boy and clearly deserves a pony, because good boys and girls get ponies.

Sasse added on "State of the Union" that he thinks about leaving the GOP "every morning," to which Wonkette replies "HOLD UP ONE FUCKING MINUTE, ASSHOLE."

So he's saying ... that every morning, while he's doing his affirmations but before he eats his Wheaties, he thinks, "Oh maybe I shouldn't actually be a part of this racist autocratic shitshow that's destroying America." But then, a few minutes later, he changes his mind and says to himself, "Just kidding, HECK YEAH I SHOULD!" Oh my God, fuuuuuuuuuuuck you .

If Ben Sasse wants to do something about what's going on in America, he is free to announce this very afternoon that he's going to quit the GOP, start caucusing with the Democrats, and refuse to vote for the illegitimate lying-ass Supreme Court nominee of President Unindicted Co-Conspirator. But no! Sasse is very excited about the prospect of having another hack who will ruin women's lives on the Court! And if Brett Kavanaugh ends up ruling that Donald Trump should obviously be king for life, well at least Roe will be gone and back alley abortions will be all the rage again. Benjamin has priorities , after all!

So instead of being an actual hero, Ben Sasse is going to high-mindedly opine about what he could do if he really had two balls to rub together, and then he's going to continue to do what Donald Trump says 86.7% of the time. 

At press time, Ben Sasse was shopping an anonymous op-ed to all the major papers called "I Am Part Of The Resistance To The Trump Administration In Congress But LOL No I'm Not Really," but even the New York Times was telling Sasse to go fuck himself, ALLEGEDLY.

[ Washington Pos t]

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