359 Comments

Teddy only uses the finest pumped-in-Tejas 10w30.

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You forgot the gunz.

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Years later, Tedcruzforpresidentdotcom having no content was the first sign that Skynet had become aware...and had a sense of humor.

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Borrowed from another commenter on another site but it is still hysterical.......

"What domain should Ted Cruz register instead?"

TedCruzLedTheShutdown.com24BillionDollarsGone.comTheAudacityofDope.com

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Dead ringer for Joe McCarthy.

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When mine does that she wants fresh blood. Anyone silly enough to attempt to rub her belly gets ripped to shreds. She's fun like that.

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This decodes as "Wing Attack Plan R."

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You may hear from Mr. Blobfish about this.

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I don't want Fop. I want Dapper Dan!

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The ones who are afraid she'll get pregnant.

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Worst porn site ever!

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Tedcruzwheresmynirthcertifi...

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And not just in the looks department.

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Which explains why Cruz-dummy is against Net Neutrality, he doesn't understand the internet.

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It is blasphemy to reference dreamboat George Clooney in the same thread as this nightmare.

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"Actually douches are unnecessary"

I found this comment to be very hurtful. You don't know what my people have been through.

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