Ohio Judge Joins Utah Judge In Gay Rights Throat-Cram-o-Rama

And the drumbeat march of teh gheys oppressing straight conservatives everywhere goes on. Since Friday, when a federal district court judge in Utah invalidated that state's same-sex marriage ban, hundreds of gay people have gotten married, which means, of course, that hundreds of straight marriages have been destroyed because that's always a 1: 1 ratio, duh. Now, Ohio has its own freedom-hating throat-cramming activist judge, who just had the audacity to rule that even though Ohio itself doesn't recognize gay marriage, it does recognize out of state marriages, which means that when you kick the bucket in Ohio but you managed to get gay married elsewhere, Ohio has to recognize your big old gay married death certificate.

Yes, this is limited, and yes, it would be way more awesome if the district court judge, Timothy Black, had just swept everything off the table and written an order that said GAYS GET MARRIED SO THERE, but it's still a very important ruling and a good first step. Also, too, it is a great occasion for wingnuts to keep on keepin' on stone cold losing their shit because, you guessed it, Black is another Obama-nominated jurist. And that, dear readers, is why elections matter a fuckton.

In up-to-the-minute Utah news, because BREAKING is how we roll here, Utah's district court just denied the state's request for a stay, which is different from this morning, when the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals denied basically the same request. In fact, Judge Richard Shelby aka lying liebrul liarpants activist Obummer judge that made gay marriage all legal-like on Friday, said the state did nothing but regurgitate the same arguments that earned it a loss last week. Suck it, Utah Attorney General.

Speaking of the Utah Attorney General -- it's been the acting AG that has been saddled with this multitude of motions and appeals thus far. Right smack dab in the middle of all this, Utah's governor appointeda new real deal not acting Attorney General, Sean Reyes, because of how the old one was, in legal terminology, "corrupt as fuck." Welcome to your first day on the job, Mr. Reyes! What are you going to do?

Oh for fuck's sake. Utah state officials, you are the most energetic sore losers ever. Why not knock off early today? Go home, see the kids, wrap some presents, drink some nog, and chill the fuck out. You can always go back to protecting those poor straights next year.

[ Buzzfeed / Salt Lake City Tribune ]